Image: Wellcome Collection (Public Domain)
TL;DR: Monkey (Shen) and Pig (Hai) form a Six Harms pair, a hidden conflict that can cause mental and material damage if combined long-term. However, understanding the nature and applying resolution principles can mitigate the clash.
Introduction to the six harms in the 12 zodiac signs
In the Earthly Branches system of the East, alongside the relationships of harmony (three harmonies, six harmonies) and opposition (six oppositions), there is another important concept that is rarely mentioned: the six harms. The six harms consist of 6 pairs of zodiac signs that are considered to have a hidden restraining effect, not as fierce as the six oppositions but simmering, causing long-term harm on many fronts. One of the typical six harms pairs is Shen (Monkey) and Hai (Pig).
Unlike opposition (direct confrontation), harm carries the meaning of "harming", "secretly harming". The ancients believed that when these two zodiac signs meet, even if outwardly they seem harmonious, inwardly misunderstandings, jealousy, or unintentional harm to each other easily arise. In this article, we will go deep into the Shen - Hai pair, from its origins and characteristics to ways of behaving and resolving it.
What is the origin and meaning of Shen and Hai?
According to folk beliefs and documents from Tuổi Trẻ Online, each zodiac sign is tied to a specific time frame in the day, reflecting that animal's habits:
| Zodiac sign | Time frame | Characteristics |
|---|---|---|
| Shen | 3pm - 5pm | This is the hour when monkeys like to howl. The monkey is an intelligent, agile, curious animal, but also very mischievous and unpredictable. |
| Hai | 9pm - 11pm | This is the hour when pigs sleep most deeply. The pig symbolizes abundance, simplicity, gentleness, but is sometimes seen as slow and passive. |
In East Asian culture, people born in the year of the Shen are often described as talented, skillful in dealings, cheerful and full of initiative, but they talk too much and lack steadfastness. People born in the year of the Hai are gentle, sincere, easy to get along with, but sometimes indecisive and easily hurt.
This difference in nature is precisely the foundation for the six harms relationship: one side is too active, fond of control; the other is too passive, easily influenced. Without care, living together easily gives rise to fatigue and unease.
Why are Shen and Hai considered a six harms pair?
According to the Five Elements theory, Shen belongs to the Metal element, Hai belongs to the Water element. Metal generates Water, meaning Shen can support Hai in terms of energy. However, in a six harms relationship, this mutual generation is distorted, becoming suppression and hidden exploitation.
Specifically, people born in the year of the Shen (Metal) tend to use their intelligence and quickness to dominate, or unintentionally wound the self-esteem of people born in the year of the Hai (Water). Conversely, people born in the year of the Hai may feel overshadowed by those born in the year of the Shen, gradually losing their inherent serenity and developing a psychology of wariness and avoidance.
From the perspective of the earthly branches, Shen and Hai are not in direct opposition (like Rat - Horse), but sit at offset positions in the circle of 12 zodiac signs. This offset creates a slanted viewpoint, leading to misunderstandings that are hard to resolve. The ancients summed it up: "Shen - Hai harm each other, unfavorable for long-term cooperation, prone to gossip and disputes"
What are the manifestations of harm in relationships?
In marriage and love
A Shen - Hai couple in love are often attracted by their opposition: the person born in the year of the Shen likes liveliness, the person born in the year of the Hai likes peace. At first, they complement each other very well. But when living together, these differences easily become points of mockery:
- The person born in the year of the Shen feels the person born in the year of the Hai is too slow, lacking ambition.
- The person born in the year of the Hai feels the person born in the year of the Shen is too noisy, lacking subtlety, always nitpicking.
If not restrained, unintentional words can cause deep wounds, cracking the relationship. People born in the year of the Shen need to learn to listen, people born in the year of the Hai need to boldly express their views.
In business and trade
At work, people born in the year of the Shen are very good at seizing opportunities and negotiating, while people born in the year of the Hai are careful, meticulous, good at holding a firm foundation. They can be an in-sync duo if they know how to divide roles clearly. However, the harm shows in that:
- The person born in the year of the Shen easily looks down on the slowness of their Hai partner, making hasty decisions.
- The person born in the year of the Hai easily feels abandoned when their Shen partner acts on their own without discussion.
This leads to a loss of trust, even breaking contracts. For cooperation to succeed, both need to build a transparent working process, respect each other's roles, and avoid letting ego dominate.
In family and friends
In the family, if Shen parents have a Hai child, or vice versa, the difference in personality can create a generational gap. Shen parents often expect their children to be quick and lively; a Hai child is quiet, slow but sure. Comparison and pressure will make the child feel stressed and lacking in confidence.
With friends, people born in the year of the Shen and Hai can be close, but the over-the-top jokes of the person born in the year of the Shen sometimes make the person born in the year of the Hai feel insulted. Conversely, the silence of the person born in the year of the Hai is understood as sulking, hard to approach.
How should the Shen - Hai pair resolve and behave?
Although considered a six harms pair, not everything is negative. The ancients had a saying, "those with affinity do not refuse, those without affinity do not gather", if you have met and have affinity, it is entirely possible to adjust to minimize the harm. Below are some practical principles:
Understanding and accepting differences
The most important thing is that neither should try to turn the other into a copy of themselves. People born in the year of the Shen should learn to slow down and listen to the feelings of the person born in the year of the Hai. People born in the year of the Hai should actively share their thoughts, instead of silently enduring.
Using a mediating element
According to the five elements, Shen (Metal) and Hai (Water) can both connect through the Earth element (because Earth generates Metal, Earth restrains Water). Therefore, in feng shui, people can use items carrying the Earth element such as yellow quartz stone or ceramics to resolve it. In addition, when working together, it is advisable to have one more person belonging to the Earth element (such as those born in the years of the Ox, Dragon, Goat, Dog) as a mediator.
How to choose suitable directions and timing?
In marriage, if the two are already married, they can choose the wedding date, groundbreaking date, or opening date on days belonging to the Earth or Metal element to enhance positive energy. In home feng shui, limit placing the stove or altar in directions that clash between the two ages.
How to build trust through communication?
Harm often stems from misunderstanding. Therefore, set up frank, regular conversations to release pent-up feelings. People born in the year of the Shen need to control their words and avoid sarcasm. People born in the year of the Hai need to learn to respond calmly, instead of harboring feelings of being wronged.
