Wedding ceremony: yết cáo (announcement) to the household deities and ancestors
Also called: Lễ gia tiên ngày cưới, Dựng vợ gả chồng, Lễ vu quy, Lễ thành hôn, Lễ nhập gia tiên, Lễ lại mặt
- Life-cycle rites
Culture and belief A record of custom.
By custom, when a family has a wedding, both the groom's and the bride's families make offerings, burn incense to announce to the household deities and ancestors, and ask for their witness for the young couple. On the wedding day, there is an ancestor ceremony at the bride's house before the bride leaves, and an ancestor ceremony upon entering the groom's house; in the South, there is also a lễ lên đèn (lighting ceremony).
At a glance
- When it is held
- On the days of chạm ngõ (first formal meeting), ăn hỏi (betrothal), and wedding; some households also hold a ceremony on the day of lại mặt (return visit to the bride's family)
- For whom
- The household deities (Thổ Công (Earth God of the house), Táo quân (Kitchen Gods), Thành hoàng (village tutelary deity) of the locality) and the ancestors of the groom's family and the bride's family
- Where
- Ancestral altar, Courtyard or outdoors
- Who makes the offering
- The parents or the head of each household
Each family and each region may do it differently.
The offering tray
Incense, lamps, candles
- Incense, lamps or candles, fresh flowers, betel leaves and areca nuts, wine, tea, water, fruit
Tea, rice wine, water
- Trà (tea)
- Rượu trắng (white rice liquor)
- Thuốc lá (cigarettes, tobacco)
Xôi (steamed sticky rice) and cakes
- Xôi (sticky rice)
- Mứt (candied fruit and seeds)
- Bánh phu thê (husband and wife cake)
- Bánh cốm (green young rice cake)
Meat and savoury dishes
- Gà (chicken, preparation unspecified)
Betel leaves and areca nuts
- Trầu cau (betel leaf and areca nut)
Votive paper
- Tiền vàng (votive paper money)
Nationwide
- When
- On the days of chạm ngõ (first formal meeting), ăn hỏi (betrothal) and the wedding; the lại mặt (return visit) rite follows the wedding day
- Where the offerings are set
- The altars of the household deities and ancestors of the groom's and bride's families
| Offering | Vegetarian or not | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Xôi (steamed sticky rice) and cakes | ||
| A tray of savory offerings with xôi (steamed sticky rice) and chicken | Meat or fish | The groom's family makes the offering on the day of chạm ngõ |
| Bánh phu thê (husband and wife cake), bánh cốm (green rice cake) | Vegetarian | Depending on the region |
| Tea, rice wine, water | ||
| A betel tray with 12 bundles, areca nuts, lotus seed jam, tea, wine, cigarettes, and one packet of votive paper | Vegetarian | Brought by the groom's family for the chạm ngõ ceremony, the bride's father places it on the altar |
| Incense, lamps, candles | ||
| Incense, lamps or candles, fresh flowers, betel leaves and areca nuts, wine, tea, water, fruit | Vegetarian | |
| Votive paper | ||
| Votive paper money | Optional. Some households have the custom of using | |
North
Hà Nội, Folk practice
- When
- On the wedding day: the ancestor rite at the bride's house before she leaves, and at the groom's house when she arrives
| Offering | Vegetarian or not | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Fruit | ||
| Five-fruit tray | Vegetarian | Required. VnExpress: northerners cannot do without the five-fruit tray in the wedding ancestor rite |
| Meat and savoury dishes | ||
| Boiled chicken, xôi gấc (red sticky rice) | Meat or fish | Set on the altar beforehand |
Central
Huế, Huế, Folk practice
- When
- Choose an auspicious date and time, sometimes going to a pagoda to ask the opinion of high monks
| Offering | Vegetarian or not | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Betel leaves and areca nuts | ||
| A tray of betel leaves and areca nuts | Vegetarian | Required |
| Tea, rice wine, water | ||
| Wine, tea | Vegetarian | Required |
| Incense, lamps, candles | ||
| Nến tơ hồng (red silk-thread candles) | Required | |
| Xôi (steamed sticky rice) and cakes | ||
| Bánh phu thê (husband-and-wife cake) | Vegetarian | Required |
South
- When
- On the day of fetching the bride; the lễ lên đèn (candle-lighting rite) is held once, at the betrothal or on the bride's welcoming day
- Where the offerings are set
- The ancestral altars of the bride's and groom's houses; old southern weddings also set up a tơ hồng table (called điện nhạn at the bride's house) in the front yard
| Offering | Quantity | Vegetarian or not | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Incense, lamps, candles | |||
| A pair of candles (lamps) carved with dragon and phoenix | 1 pair | Required. Used for the lễ lên đèn (lighting ceremony) | |
| Other | |||
| A tray of fruit in even numbers | |||
| Tea, rice wine, water | |||
| Betel leaves and areca nuts, tea, wine, cakes and fruit | Vegetarian | Miền Tây (the Mekong Delta): present at the lễ giáp lời (preliminary meeting ceremony), the lễ hỏi (engagement ceremony), and the wedding ceremony | |
Steps of the rite
Used across Vietnam, Folk practice
- Lighting incenseFor each ceremony, both the groom's and the bride's families make offerings and burn incense to announce to the household deities and ancestors
- Reciting the prayerOn the wedding day at the bride's house: pray to the ancestors before the bride leaves; the bride and groom bow to the altar of the maternal family
- Reciting the prayerAt the groom's house: perform the lễ nhập gia tiên (ceremony of entering the ancestors' house), announcing to the husband's ancestors that there is a new daughter-in-law
- Lại mặt (return visit): the young couple goes to the bride's house to burn incense, after one day, three days, or when convenient
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, Folk practice
- Strictly observe at least three ceremonies: chạm ngõ, lễ hỏi (betrothal), and rước dâu (bride procession)
- Wedding day: xin dâu (requesting the bride), ancestor ceremony at the bride's house, đưa dâu (escorting the bride), ancestor ceremony at the groom's house, wedding banquet
- After the wedding, there is the lễ lại mặt (return visit ceremony), also burning incense to report to the ancestors
Huế, Huế, Folk practice
- The two families inform each other of the date and time through a visit
- At the bride's house: the ceremony to ask for the auspicious hour, the procession to welcome the bride, the bowing to the red thread of fate, and the escorting of the bride
- At the groom's house: đón dâu (receiving the bride), reporting to the ancestors
Southern Vietnam, Folk practice
- In miền Tây (the Mekong Delta), the proceedings begin with the lễ giáp lời (preliminary meeting ceremony), with simple offerings
- The lễ hỏi (engagement ceremony) and the bride procession may be held on the same day
- The lễ lên đèn (lamp-lighting ceremony) before the ancestors' altar is a ceremony that must be included in a wedding in miền Nam (southern Vietnam) (Báo Pháp luật Việt Nam)
- Lighting incenseThe lễ lên đèn: a respected elder of the bride's family asks to begin the rite, then the bride and groom light with their own hands the pair of candles brought by the groom's family and place them on the altar
Good to know
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, Folk practice
- According to VnExpress, northern families usually do not move the altar at will; the bride and groom burn incense at the altar already set in the house
Southern Vietnam, Folk practice
- According to VnExpress, many southern families do not avoid the mother accompanying her daughter to the groom's house
- Housing (apartments, rented homes)A cramped house or one without a large altar sets up a stand-in altar in the living room for the couple's ancestor rite
What is avoided
Used across Vietnam, Folk practice
- People taking partAccording to Phan Kế Bính (1915), both families must be free of mourning before a wedding: if the head of the marriage is in mourning, the wedding waits
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, Folk practice
- People taking partThe bride's mother does not accompany her daughter to the groom's house, to avoid the sorrow of parting
Huế, Huế, Folk practice
- People taking partVnExpress notes that in the North and the Central region the bride's mother does not accompany her daughter to the groom's house
The custom
Phan Kế Bính (1915) describes an old wedding day: the head of the bride's family prayed at the ancestral altar, then the groom bowed; there was the tế tơ hồng rite, an incense table set in the yard with chicken, xôi, betel and wine to thank Nguyệt lão (the Old Man under the Moon); on the day the bride was escorted, she was led in to bow before the groom's ancestors; three days after the wedding, on the fourth day, the couple brought chè and xôi back to the wife's family to bow to her ancestors, called lễ lại mặt.
In the South, according to VnExpress, the lễ lên đèn (candle-lighting rite) is an indispensable feature: the bride and groom light with their own hands the pair of candles brought by the groom's family on the bride's family altar, in place of a lifelong vow before the ancestors. Old southern weddings also set up a tơ hồng table in the front yard (called tơ hồng at the groom's house and điện nhạn at the bride's) to thank ông Tơ bà Nguyệt (the matchmaking deities) before reporting to the ancestors (Thanh Niên).
Where the sources differ
- The lại mặt day: Phan Kế Bính (1915) writes three days after the wedding, on the fourth day; one guide writes one day or three days later, or whenever convenient
Questions
Is the wedding ancestor rite held at the bride's or the groom's house?
It is held at both houses. At the bride's house, before she leaves for her husband's home, her father or a male representative of her family burns incense and reports to the ancestors, without the groom's family taking part. At the groom's house, the couple present themselves to his ancestors, a rite also called lễ nhập gia tiên.
What is the lễ lên đèn in southern weddings?
The lễ lên đèn is a required rite of southern weddings: the groom's family brings a pair of large candles carved with dragon and phoenix, a respected elder of the bride's family asks to begin the rite, then the bride and groom light the candles themselves and place them on the bride's family altar. According to VnExpress, it stands in for a vow of lifelong union before the ancestors.
What rites make up a northern wedding?
Northern families usually hold three main rites: dạm ngõ (first formal meeting), ăn hỏi (betrothal) and đón dâu (fetching the bride); some add the lại mặt rite, when the couple return to the bride's family to make offerings to the ancestors. According to VnExpress, northerners have the custom of the bride's family stating the wedding gifts it expects, and the offerings must include betel and areca and bánh cốm.
What rites does a wedding in Huế have?
A Huế wedding has the rites of asking for the hour, nghinh hôn (receiving the bride), bowing to tơ hồng (the red thread of fate) and fetching the bride at her house, then welcoming the bride and reporting to the ancestors at the groom's house. People in Huế choose the day and hour carefully, sometimes asking senior monks at a pagoda; there is no custom of the bride's family stating the gifts it expects, and the minimum offerings are a tray of betel and areca, wine and tea, red-thread candles and bánh phu thê.
Communities and regions
Sources
- Văn khấn khi cưới gả (vankhan.vn)
- Văn khấn cưới gả yết cáo Gia thần, Gia tiên (tuvi.vn)
- Việt Nam phong tục, Thiên I, mục XIII. Giá thú, Phan Kế Bính 1915 (vi.wikisource.org)
- Lễ gia tiên trong ngày cưới (ngoisao.vnexpress.net)
- Những nét khác biệt đáng yêu trong gia đình Việt (baophapluat.vn)
- Lưu ý trong lễ gia tiên ở đám cưới hai miền (ngoisao.vnexpress.net)
- Khác biệt trong lễ cưới ba miền (ngoisao.vnexpress.net)
- Mâm quả cưới của ba miền Bắc, Trung, Nam gồm những gì? (voh.com.vn)
- Thắc mắc về lễ lên đèn trong ngày cưới (ngoisao.vnexpress.net)
- Đám cưới Nam bộ qua nhiều thập niên: Những lễ vật ít người còn thấy (thanhnien.vn)
Part of the open datasets Types of Vietnamese offering rites and Vietnamese offering procedures, licensed CC BY 4.0.
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