Lễ cầu duyên (ceremony to pray for a good match)
- Cầu an, giải hạn (prayers for peace, rites to ward off misfortune)
- 5 prayer texts
- Offerings and steps
Culture and belief A record of custom.
About this rite: when it is held and for whom
Also called: Xin duyên, Cầu tình duyên, Lễ chùa Hà
By custom, unmarried people go to pagodas, temples (đền), and phủ (Mother Goddess shrines) to pray to meet a compatible partner, while those already paired pray for harmony. Folk tradition tells of some places for cầu duyên such as chùa Hà in Hà Nội and chùa Ngọc Hoàng in Ho Chi Minh City; sources also note that no place of worship is dedicated specifically to this. Offerings and places of prayer differ between the two regions.
- When
- Early in the year, first day of the lunar month, fifteenth day of the lunar month
- For whom
- Varies by place: the Mẫu (Mother Goddesses) at the Mẫu hall (chùa Hà), ông Tơ bà Nguyệt (the matchmaking deities), Ngũ Hành Nương Nương (the Five Elements Goddesses) (in Ho Chi Minh City), or Tam Bảo (the Three Jewels)
Prayer text for love at chùa Hà
- Northern Vietnam
- Hà Nội
- Mother Goddess worship (Tứ Phủ)
What this prayer says
Prayer for love and marriage recited at chùa Hà, addressing Ngọc Hoàng Thượng Đế and the Mother Goddesses Liễu Hạnh, Thượng Ngàn and Thoải, giving one's name and asking the Mother Goddesses to grant a good marriage soon and a compatible partner.
The prayer below is kept in Vietnamese, the language it is read aloud in during the rite.
Fill in before the rite
Your name and address appear in the prayer below and are kept on this device only.
This text is the version from the North.
4 more blanks
Other texts for Lễ cầu duyên (ceremony to pray for a good match)
Versions by region, by tradition and for each part of the rite.
Offerings and how the rite is done
As commonly practised and recorded by the sources. Each family and each region may do it differently.
Used across Vietnam, Folk practice
- When
- Early in the year, fifteenth day of the lunar month, first day of the lunar month
- Where the offerings are set
- At pagodas, temples (đền), phủ (Mother Goddess shrines) with a Mẫu altar, or at home
- Who makes the offering
- The person seeking a match performs the offering themselves
Offerings
| Offering | Quantity |
|---|---|
| Seasonal flowers and fruits, many colors (yellow, green, red, purple, white) | |
| votive paper and paper money | 5 offerings |
| Betel leaves and areca nuts | 1 areca nut, 3 betel leaves |
| bánh chưng (square sticky rice cake), bánh dày (round sticky rice cake) | 1 piece of each type |
| Bánh xu xê (a steamed cake) | 1 pair |
| A painting or a pair of mandarin ducks as an auspicious object | |
| Sớ cầu duyên (petition for a good match) |
Steps
- Prepare the offerings, present them on the altar
- Light incense, read the prayer text; pray silently enough for oneself to hear
- When the incense has burned about two thirds, burn the votive paper
- Bring the auspicious object home
- Once paired, return at the end of the year to make an offering of thanks
Things to avoid
- Dress modestly, do not speak profanely, do not laugh and joke in the pagoda
- Do not photograph or film the altar
Where the sources differ
- Offerings: one source lists an offering tray with votive paper, bánh chưng (square sticky rice cake), bánh dày (round sticky rice cake), bánh xu xê, and a sớ; another source says that at the Buddha hall only a simple vegetarian offering is needed (incense, flowers, fruit, water), no votive paper, no meat offerings
- Place of prayer: young people pass on word of certain pagodas and am (small shrines) for cầu duyên; one source says there is no pagoda or temple (đền) dedicated specifically to cầu duyên, that it is word of mouth
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, chùa Hà, chùa Duyên Ninh, Mother Goddess worship (Tứ Phủ)
- When
- Tết, first day of the lunar month, fifteenth day of the lunar month
- Where the offerings are set
- Chùa Hà (Thánh Đức Tự, Hà Nội): the Mẫu hall behind the main hall; also am Mỵ Châu, chùa Duyên Ninh in Trường Yên (inside the Tây Hoa Lư citadel)
- Who makes the offering
- The person seeking a match, both men and women
Offerings
| Offering | Notes |
|---|---|
| Sớ cầu duyên (petition for a good match) | obtained at chùa Hà |
Steps
- Offer incense at the Buddha altar
- Sang điện Mẫu (thờ Mẫu Thượng Thiên, Mẫu Thượng Ngàn, Mẫu Thoải) dâng hương, đọc văn khấn cầu duyên, xin sớ
Things to avoid
- Sleeved shirt, long trousers, do not wear short skirts
- Turn off phone sound when entering the pagoda
Southeast, Sài Gòn, TP.HCM, Folk practice
- When
- The fifteenth day of the lunar month, the first day of the lunar month, major festivals, early spring
- Where the offerings are set
- Chùa Ngọc Hoàng (District 1): the hall of Kim Hoa Thánh Mẫu and the 12 Bà Mụ (Midwife Goddesses), with statues of ông Tơ and bà Nguyệt; the altar of Ngũ Hành Nương Nương at a miếu (shrine); the altar of Hoa Phấn phu nhân at chùa Ôn Lăng
- Who makes the offering
- The person praying for love
Offerings
| Offering | Notes |
|---|---|
| Coconut, betel leaves and areca nuts, chrysanthemum or lotus flowers | offered at the altar of Ngũ Hành Nương Nương; sources say the coconut is a lucky offering in Southern Vietnamese belief |
| Fruit, cakes | |
| A roll of red thread with a needle already threaded | placed at the altar of Hoa Phấn phu nhân, chùa Ôn Lăng |
Steps
- Light incense before the statues of ông Tơ and bà Nguyệt
- Pray with one's own name and the name of the person one loves
The wording is kept exactly as published by the source. The dotted italic words are blanks for you to fill in.
Sources
- Văn khấn cầu duyên, bài khấn cầu duyên (hoatieu.vn)
- Văn khấn tạ lễ cuối năm ở Đền, đình, chùa, miếu phủ (hoatieu.vn)
- Đầu năm đi chùa cầu duyên như thế nào (plo.vn)
- Top 5 ngôi chùa cầu duyên linh thiêng tại Sài Gòn (voh.com.vn)
Part of the open dataset Types of Vietnamese offering rites and Vietnamese offering procedures, licensed CC BY 4.0.
More prayer textsDeath anniversaries, Tết, the home, business, life-cycle rites and regional rites.Open