Lễ cầu duyên (ceremony to pray for a good match)
Also called: Xin duyên, Cầu tình duyên, Lễ chùa Hà
- Cầu an, giải hạn (prayers for peace, rites to ward off misfortune)
Culture and belief A record of custom.
By custom, unmarried people go to pagodas, temples (đền), and phủ (Mother Goddess shrines) to pray to meet a compatible partner, while those already paired pray for harmony. Folk tradition tells of some places for cầu duyên such as chùa Hà in Hà Nội and chùa Ngọc Hoàng in Ho Chi Minh City; sources also note that no place of worship is dedicated specifically to this. Offerings and places of prayer differ between the two regions.
At a glance
- When it is held
- Early in the year, first day of the lunar month, fifteenth day of the lunar month
- For whom
- Varies by place: the Mẫu (Mother Goddesses) at the Mẫu hall (chùa Hà), ông Tơ bà Nguyệt (the matchmaking deities), Ngũ Hành Nương Nương (the Five Elements Goddesses) (in Ho Chi Minh City), or Tam Bảo (the Three Jewels)
Each family and each region may do it differently.
The offering tray
Region:
Nationwide
- When
- Early in the year, fifteenth day of the lunar month, first day of the lunar month
- Where the offerings are set
- At pagodas, temples (đền), phủ (Mother Goddess shrines) with a Mẫu altar, or at home
- Who makes the offering
- The person seeking a match performs the offering themselves
| Offering | Quantity | Vegetarian or not |
|---|---|---|
| Fruit | ||
| Seasonal flowers and fruits, many colors (yellow, green, red, purple, white) | Vegetarian | |
| Votive paper | ||
| votive paper and paper money | 5 offerings | |
| Betel leaves and areca nuts | ||
| Betel leaves and areca nuts | 1 areca nut, 3 betel leaves | Vegetarian |
| Xôi (steamed sticky rice) and cakes | ||
| bánh chưng (square sticky rice cake), bánh dày (round sticky rice cake) | 1 piece of each type | Meat or fish |
| Bánh xu xê (a steamed cake) | 1 pair | Vegetarian |
| Objects | ||
| A painting or a pair of mandarin ducks as an auspicious object | ||
| Sớ cầu duyên (petition for a good match) | ||
North
Hà Nội, chùa Hà, chùa Duyên Ninh, Mother Goddess worship (Tứ Phủ)
- When
- Tết, first day of the lunar month, fifteenth day of the lunar month
- Where the offerings are set
- Chùa Hà (Thánh Đức Tự, Hà Nội): the Mẫu hall behind the main hall; also am Mỵ Châu, chùa Duyên Ninh in Trường Yên (inside the Tây Hoa Lư citadel)
- Who makes the offering
- The person seeking a match, both men and women
| Offering | Notes |
|---|---|
| Objects | |
| Sớ cầu duyên (petition for a good match) | Obtained at chùa Hà |
South
Southeast, Sài Gòn, TP.HCM, Folk practice
- When
- The fifteenth day of the lunar month, the first day of the lunar month, major festivals, early spring
- Where the offerings are set
- Chùa Ngọc Hoàng (District 1): the hall of Kim Hoa Thánh Mẫu and the 12 Bà Mụ (Midwife Goddesses), with statues of ông Tơ and bà Nguyệt; the altar of Ngũ Hành Nương Nương at a miếu (shrine); the altar of Hoa Phấn phu nhân at chùa Ôn Lăng
- Who makes the offering
- The person praying for love
| Offering | Vegetarian or not | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Flowers | ||
| Coconut, betel leaves and areca nuts, chrysanthemum or lotus flowers | Vegetarian | Offered at the altar of Ngũ Hành Nương Nương; VOH says the coconut is a lucky offering in Southern Vietnamese belief |
| Fruit | ||
| Fruit, cakes | Vegetarian | |
| Objects | ||
| A roll of red thread with a needle already threaded | Placed at the altar of Hoa Phấn phu nhân, chùa Ôn Lăng | |
Steps of the rite
Used across Vietnam, Folk practice
- Prepare the offerings, present them on the altar
- Light incense, read the prayer text; pray silently enough for oneself to hear
- When the incense has burned about two thirds, burn the votive paper
- Bring the auspicious object home
- Once paired, return at the end of the year to make an offering of thanks
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, chùa Hà, chùa Duyên Ninh, Mother Goddess worship (Tứ Phủ)
- Offer incense at the Buddha altar
- Go to the điện Mẫu (Mother Goddess hall, worshipping Mẫu Thượng Thiên (Mother of Heaven), Mẫu Thượng Ngàn (Mother of the Forest), and Mẫu Thoải (Mother of Water)), offer incense, read the prayer text to pray for a good match, and ask for a sớ (petition)
Southeast, Sài Gòn, TP.HCM, Folk practice
- Light incense before the statues of ông Tơ and bà Nguyệt
- Pray with one's own name and the name of the person one loves
What is avoided
Used across Vietnam, Folk practice
- Dress modestly, do not speak profanely, do not laugh and joke in the pagoda
- Do not photograph or film the altar
Northern Vietnam, Hà Nội, chùa Hà, chùa Duyên Ninh, Mother Goddess worship (Tứ Phủ)
- Sleeved shirt, long trousers, do not wear short skirts
- Turn off phone sound when entering the pagoda
Where the sources differ
- Offerings: one source lists an offering tray with votive paper, bánh chưng (square sticky rice cake), bánh dày (round sticky rice cake), bánh xu xê, and a sớ; another source says that at the Buddha hall only a simple vegetarian offering is needed (incense, flowers, fruit, water), no votive paper, no meat offerings
- Place of prayer: young people pass on word of certain pagodas and am (small shrines) for cầu duyên; one account says there is no pagoda or temple (đền) dedicated specifically to cầu duyên, that it is word of mouth
Communities and regions
Sources
- Văn khấn cầu duyên, bài khấn cầu duyên (hoatieu.vn)
- Đầu năm đi chùa cầu duyên như thế nào (plo.vn)
- Top 5 ngôi chùa cầu duyên linh thiêng tại Sài Gòn (voh.com.vn)
Part of the open datasets Types of Vietnamese offering rites and Vietnamese offering procedures, licensed CC BY 4.0.
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