What does burning the mourning scarf mean in Vietnamese funerals?
In the traditional funeral of the Vietnamese people, the mourning scarf is one of the most important symbols of mourning. The scarf is usually white, sometimes made of coarse cloth or gauze, or black depending on region and the wearer's position in the family. The bereaved wear the mourning scarf as a sign that they are in a period of mourning, and it also expresses grief and filial piety toward the deceased.
Burning the mourning scarf is a symbolic rite: it marks the end of a period of mourning, the transition from mourning back to normal life. However, no single rule applies to every family or region. In common custom, the scarf may be burned or removed at milestones such as 49 days, 100 days, the first death anniversary, the final death anniversary, or after mourning is completed. Each milestone carries its own meaning and is usually tied to a corresponding ceremony.
This article presents reference guidance according to common custom, based on Buddhist texts and traditional ancestral worship rites. It is not the only mandatory rule, and may differ by region, clan, and family circumstance.
What are the milestones of mourning and what does each one mean?
49 Days (chung thất) and 100 Days (bách nhật)
According to the Ksitigarbha Sutra and common Buddhist belief, after death the spirit passes through an intermediate state lasting up to 49 days. During this time, a memorial rite is held every 7 days, and at 49 days it is called chung thất, also known as tuần tứ cửu or tuần định nghiệp. This is an important milestone for relatives to chant sutras and recite the Buddha's name, praying for the spirit to be reborn in a good realm.
After 49 days comes the 100th day, when the bách nhật ceremony is held, also called tuần bách nhật. This is a continuing milestone, marking the gradual settling of mourning. Many families choose to burn or remove the mourning scarf on this occasion, but some wait until the first or final death anniversary.
First Death Anniversary (tiểu tường) and Final Death Anniversary (đại tường)
In traditional ancestral rites, the first death anniversary is called tiểu tường, the first anniversary after one year. It is still a sorrowful day, and the bereaved still wear mourning clothes. The final death anniversary is called đại tường, the anniversary after two years, still within the mourning period. This ceremony is still held solemnly, and the bereaved still wear mourning clothes.
After the final death anniversary, from the third year onward, the anniversary is called giỗ thường or kiết kỵ (the auspicious anniversary). At this point descendants wear ordinary clothes, sorrow has eased, and it becomes an occasion for family to gather and remember the deceased. By worldly rite, the ordinary anniversary is maintained through five generations, after which the spirit is considered liberated and merged into the spring rites.
The Rite of Removing Mourning and Completing Mourning
Removing mourning (xả tang) is the formal rite ending the mourning period. In many families it is held solemnly, possibly at the first anniversary, the final anniversary, or after mourning is completed. Completing mourning (mãn tang) is the point when the entire mourning period ends, usually two or three years after the death. After that, the family moves to regular worship and no longer wears mourning.
For Buddhists, views on funerals are somewhat simpler. According to Most Venerable Thích Giác Quang, funerals should be held neatly and simply, focusing on chanting sutras and reciting the Buddha's name for the deceased. Offerings at ceremonies after the funeral should be reduced because what matters is sincerity, not spending wealth or money. This shows that burning the mourning scarf need not be elaborate; what matters is a sincere heart.
What are the common mourning scarf burning milestones?
| Time | Name | Main Meaning | Commonly Done |
|---|---|---|---|
| 49 days | Chung thất | End of the intermediate state in Buddhism | Offer to monks, chant sutras, may lightly remove mourning |
| 100 days | Bách nhật | Mourning gradually settles | Bách nhật offering, some places burn the scarf |
| 1 year | Giỗ đầu (tiểu tường) | Remembering the deceased after one year | Anniversary offering, bereaved still wear mourning |
| 2 years | Giỗ hết (đại tường) | End of the heavy mourning period | Anniversary offering, many places formally remove mourning |
| 3 years onward | Giỗ thường (kiết kỵ) | Auspicious anniversary, family gathering | Wear ordinary clothes, hold ordinary anniversaries |
How do you prepare offerings and perform the mourning rite?
Preparing Offerings
Depending on the milestone and family means, offerings may vary. Below is a reference list:
- Incense, lamps, candles (use electric candles or safe oil lamps to prevent fire)
- Fresh flowers (chrysanthemums, lilies, white roses)
- Fruit, cakes, tea, water
- A tray of food (vegetarian or non-vegetarian depending on the family, but limiting killing according to the Buddha's teaching)
- The old mourning scarves of the bereaved
- Votive paper and paper money (if the family follows that custom)
- The memorial tablet or portrait of the deceased
- A list of the names of the bereaved (if holding a collective mourning removal)
Arranging the Offering Tray
The tray is usually placed on the main altar or the spirit altar. Common arrangement:
- Place the portrait of the deceased at the center, above
- The incense bowl, lamps, and candles in front of the portrait
- The food tray, flowers, and cakes to the sides or below
- The mourning scarves of the bereaved may be placed on a separate table, waiting for the burning rite
Note: When lighting incense and candles, keep them away from flammable materials such as curtains, paper, and cloth. Do not let children play near the votive paper burning area. Prepare a bucket of water or sand to extinguish fire if needed.
Steps for the Mourning Scarf Burning Rite
Step 1: The household head lights incense and invites the spirit and ancestors to witness. The invocation may be summarized: respectfully inviting the spirit of the deceased and ancestors on both sides to attend and witness the sincerity of the descendants.
Step 2: Read the invocation (if available). It usually states the name of the deceased, date of death, reason for the rite (49 days, 100 days, first anniversary, final anniversary), and a prayer for the spirit to be liberated.
Step 3: Perform the mourning removal rite. The bereaved take off their scarves one by one, placing them on a table or a separate tray. In some families, the officiant reads words of thanks and declares the end of mourning.
Step 4: Burn the mourning scarves. The scarves are burned with votive paper in a safe area, away from the house and flammable materials. Burn a little at a time, not too much at once, to avoid dangerous large flames. Do not burn indoors or in a windless enclosed place.
Step 5: After burning, wait until the ashes are completely cool before cleaning up. Do not dump ashes while embers remain. Wash hands thoroughly before touching food or doing other work.
Invocation Text (Summary of Main Points)
No single invocation applies to every family. The content usually includes:
- Homage to the Buddha, Bodhisattvas, deities, and ancestors
- The name of the deceased, date of death, place of death
- The reason for the rite (49 days, 100 days, first anniversary, final anniversary)
- A prayer for the spirit to be liberated and reborn in the Pure Land
- Thanks to ancestors and deities for witnessing
The household head may consult common invocation texts in ritual books or ask elders in the clan. What matters is sincerity, not exact wording.
What are the taboos when a family is in mourning?
In common custom, during mourning the family often observes some taboos:
- Avoid killing animals for offerings, because in Buddhism killing adds to the suffering of the deceased.
- Avoid parties, singing, and weddings during heavy mourning.
- Avoid wearing bright, colorful clothes while in mourning.
- Avoid burning too much votive paper, which causes pollution and fire risk.
- Avoid prolonging mourning too long beyond local custom, as it can affect the mental life and work of the living.
However, these taboos vary by region. Some places are strict, others more flexible. What matters is showing respect for the deceased and not harming the family's health or finances.
What should you note about safety and health when burning the mourning scarf?
Burning mourning scarves, votive paper, incense, and candles carries fire risk and affects respiratory health. Some notes:
- Do not burn votive paper or scarves indoors or in closed rooms.
- Place the burner or burning area away from flammable materials, trees, and power sources.
- Do not let children or frail elderly people burn alone without adult supervision.
- Wear a mask when burning and avoid breathing smoke directly.
- After burning, wait until ashes are completely cool before cleaning up. Do not dump ashes carelessly into the environment.
- If a family member has a respiratory illness, minimize burning incense, candles, and votive paper.
What are the differing views on when to burn the mourning scarf?
As noted, there is no absolute consensus on when to burn the mourning scarf. Some common views:
- Traditional view: burn the scarf at the final death anniversary (đại tường), after two years of mourning.
- Simple view: burn the scarf at 49 days or 100 days, believing mourning should end early so the living can stabilize their lives.
- Buddhist view: do not overemphasize burning the scarf, but focus on chanting sutras, reciting the Buddha's name, and doing good deeds dedicated to the deceased.
Each view has its own reason. Families should discuss together and consult elders in the clan to reach a decision suited to their circumstances.
Conclusion
Burning the mourning scarf is a rite that marks the end of a period of mourning, expressing the respect and filial piety of descendants toward the deceased. The time for burning may be 49 days, 100 days, the first anniversary, the final anniversary, or after mourning is completed, depending on regional custom and family circumstance. What matters most is not getting every detail right, but sincerity and safety for both the living and the deceased.
