After the funeral, what ceremonies remain from the third day to the end of mourning?

After the funeral, what ceremonies remain and how long do they last?

After burial, traditional Vietnamese custom observes a sequence of rites lasting up to about twenty-seven months, ending with lễ trừ phục. The main ceremonies are: lễ ngu (third day), lễ tốt khốc (hundredth day), lễ tiểu tường (first death anniversary), lễ đại tường (second death anniversary) and lễ trừ phục (đàm tất). Between them come the thất thất weeks (forty-nine days), the Trung nguyên votive paper burning, and daily morning and evening rice offerings.

The way these rites are counted and named is not entirely consistent across books. Dương Bá Trạc in *Gia lễ giản yếu* (1932) and Phan Kế Bính in *Việt Nam phong tục* (1915) both record the same basic milestones, but differ on the timing of lễ trừ phục. Which rites are ancient and which follow Buddhism is discussed by Phạm Đình Hổ in *Vũ trung tùy bút*.

How is the schedule of post-funeral rites arranged?

The table below compares the main milestones, based on *Gia lễ giản yếu* by Dương Bá Trạc and *Việt Nam phong tục* by Phan Kế Bính. The last column follows Phạm Đình Hổ's division in *Vũ trung tùy bút*: ancient rite or Buddhist rite.

Note: on the timing of lễ trừ phục alone, the three books give three different intervals after đại tường: one month, two months and three months (see the section below).

How do lễ ngu and lễ tốt khốc differ?

Lễ ngu (also called lễ an vi) is held on the third day after burial. According to *Gia lễ giản yếu*, after burial, on the third day the lễ ngu is performed. The book notes that ngu means to settle, a rite to settle the spirit. *Việt Nam phong tục* by Phan Kế Bính records that after burial the family returns home and makes an offering called ngu tế, three times over three days (sơ ngu, tái ngu, tam ngu) to settle the spirit of the deceased, and that only wealthy houses do so. The same book records a separate custom in those three days: each afternoon during the first three days after burial, children bring a betel tray to the grave and weep, a custom called viếng mộ. People often wait until the third day to rebuild the grave properly, or to build a grave house.

Lễ tốt khốc is held on the hundredth day. According to *Việt Nam phong tục*, the hundred-day week is called tuần tốt khốc, meaning that by then weeping ceases. After one feast offering during this week, the twice-daily rice offering also ends. Thus lễ tốt khốc marks the end of the daily rice offering period and the shift to offerings on death anniversaries.

The basic difference: lễ ngu is the offering that settles the spirit right after burial; lễ tốt khốc is tied to the end of weeping and daily rice offerings.

What are lễ tiểu tường and lễ đại tường understood to be?

Lễ tiểu tường is the first death anniversary, that is, one year after death. According to *Việt Nam phong tục*, at one year the first anniversary is called lễ tiểu tường. At that point mourning items such as the staff and reed hat are removed, but mourning clothes are still worn until the full three years end.

Lễ đại tường is the final anniversary, that is, two years after death. According to *Việt Nam phong tục*, at two years the final anniversary is called đại tường.

When does lễ trừ phục (đàm tất) take place?

Lễ trừ phục (also called đàm tất, đàm tế) is the rite of removing all mourning garments and returning to ordinary clothes. The timing differs among books.

According to *Gia lễ giản yếu* by Dương Bá Trạc: at one hundred days, lễ tốt khốc is held; at the first anniversary, lễ tiểu tường; at the final anniversary, lễ đại tường; three months after the final anniversary, the whole family removes mourning and performs lễ trừ phục.

According to *Việt Nam phong tục* by Phan Kế Bính: two months after đại tường, a day is chosen for lễ trừ phục, called đàm tế. Then all mourning garments are removed and ordinary clothes are worn.

Thus Dương Bá Trạc records three months after đại tường, while Phan Kế Bính records two months. This is a point of inconsistency between the two sources. Readers should know that both records exist in the books, and families and regions choose the timing that suits them.

In *Vũ trung tùy bút*, Phạm Đình Hổ records that funeral rites have a sequence: three days after death, encoffining; four days, putting on mourning clothes; at three months, burial; at one full year, lễ tiểu tường; after two years, lễ đại tường; and one month after that, lễ đàm tất, which ends mourning. Thus Phạm Đình Hổ records one month, different from both Dương Bá Trạc and Phan Kế Bính. His explanation is also recorded: counting from the start of mourning to đàm tất, the whole period is only twenty-seven months.

Why is the mourning period twenty-seven months?

According to Phạm Đình Hổ in *Vũ trung tùy bút*, the three-year mourning rite is meant to teach the people the middle way. Counting from the start of mourning to đàm tất, the whole process lasts only twenty-seven months. He explains: the heart of a filial child still grieves endlessly, so some, even after mourning ends, pick up a lute and cannot play it in tune. Therefore the sages set the mourning rite at three years, considering that just right.

The figure of twenty-seven months is a combined reckoning: three years in the ancient rites is usually counted as twenty-seven months, not thirty-six. This reckoning comes from the ancient rites and is recorded in Vietnamese books. Note that this is a convention of the ancient rites, not a natural law or an astronomical calculation.

Where do the 49-day weeks and the Trung nguyên votive paper burning come from?

Phạm Đình Hổ in *Vũ trung tùy bút* says: rites such as the thất thất weeks (the forty-nine-day weeks), the hundred-day week, cáo hè, điện hè, tống hè and Trung nguyên đốt mã all belong to Buddhism, not to the ancient rites. According to his account, Buddhist teaching holds that every seven days the dead are brought before King Yama for judgment; in the summer month, the underworld takes pity on prisoners suffering heat, and sometimes brings them out for review and general amnesty. Therefore on those days a vegetarian altar must be set up to pray for blessings.

According to Phạm Đình Hổ's record of the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month: the Buddhist scriptures call this Tết Trung nguyên, and it is also the occasion when the underworld officials review sentences. For that reason, on this day people also follow Buddhist rites, making offerings to deliver the dead and burning votive paper to provide the dead with things to use. He also criticizes those who do not understand, who on those days slaughter animals, lay out feasts, and gather relatives and friends to eat and drink.

According to Phan Kế Bính in *Việt Nam phong tục*: the forty-nine-day week is called tuần chung thất. This week has an offering; some families hold a vegetarian ceremony at a pagoda, asking monks to chant sutras of repentance for three nights or seven days and nights, mainly so that the soul may be reborn in the Pure Land. Phan Kế Bính records about votive paper burning: there are two periods of burning votive paper between tiểu tường and đại tường. Mã biếu is the name of the first votive paper period, and the second is the true votive paper offered for the dead to use. On the Trung nguyên day in the seventh month, the custom of burning is widespread, and many families also burn on the first and final death anniversaries.

Thus two layers of ritual are clear: the ancient layer (ngu, tốt khốc, tiểu tường, đại tường, trừ phục) and the later Buddhist layer (thất thất weeks, hundred-day week, Trung nguyên votive paper burning). The books distinguish these two layers, though naming and day counting differ.

How are annual death anniversaries held?

After lễ trừ phục, ancestor worship shifts to annual death anniversaries. According to *Việt Nam phong tục* by Phan Kế Bính, the death anniversaries of great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents are called ngày kỵ nhật. On the afternoon before, the tiên thường offering is made; the next day is the main anniversary (chính kỵ). For the anniversaries of distant ancestors such as great-grandparents and grandparents, people prepare chicken, sticky rice or a few trays of food; offerings to ancestors are made first, then children and grandchildren gather to eat. For parents' anniversaries, the custom is usually more elaborate.

According to Phan Kế Bính: however large or small the anniversary, there must always be a bowl of rice and a boiled egg placed first. The arrangement of the feast depends on each family's wealth, and is held in different degrees of elaboration. Many families invite relatives and guests. During the anniversary, some bring tea, betel, and wine, others bring incense and candles to offer, and afterwards they drink wine.

In *Gia lễ giản yếu*, Dương Bá Trạc praised the spirit of the anniversary: the rite needs only sincere reverence with incense, flowers, and water, gathering the household before the altar. The family head, before performing the rite, recounts events from the life of the deceased and reminds the household how to remember that person's kindness toward them now, then solemnly prepares and enters the rite, and after it ends sits quietly in reflection for some tens of minutes.

Why did old books complain about funeral customs?

Both Phạm Đình Hổ and Phan Kế Bính complained that funerals and death anniversaries were turned into occasions for eating, gathering, and troubling the bereaved family.

According to Phạm Đình Hổ in *Vũ trung tùy bút*: from the death to the burial, if anything was unsatisfactory, people would invoke village rules to demand more, and some families had to sell off gardens and fields just to feed the mouths and bellies of those demanding food. This habit, though banned many times, ultimately could not be fully corrected. He also complained that the ceremony of assuming mourning was turned into lavish feasts, with villagers flocking in, gathering at the bereaved house, composing eulogies, explaining ritual, then drinking and chatting endlessly, no different from a festival.

Phan Kế Bính recorded in *Việt Nam phong tục*: for village notables, sometimes the whole village attends the anniversary; for teachers with many students, all students attend; for officials, often the whole district and prefecture come to the anniversary, and the eating and drinking is very troublesome and wasteful.

These are complaints of the ancients about actual practice, not rules of the rites. The books still record the standard ritual, but also record the distortions in practice.

Where and when do these books record the customs?

The books cited above mainly record customs in northern Vietnam in the early twentieth century. *Gia lễ giản yếu* by Dương Bá Trạc was printed in Hà Nội in 1932. *Việt Nam phong tục* by Phan Kế Bính was first printed in 1915, also in Hà Nội. *Vũ trung tùy bút* by Phạm Đình Hổ was written in the early nineteenth century, under the Nguyễn dynasty.

These books therefore do not tell us how customs differ from region to region. Even among the three books, lễ trừ phục falls one, two or three months after đại tường.

On the 49-day week, Phạm Đình Hổ states clearly that it is a Buddhist rite, not an ancient one, while Phan Kế Bính records tuần chung thất as a custom of his day. This is an example of the blending of ancient rites and Buddhism in Vietnamese funeral customs.

In summary, what do the post-funeral rites include?

Traditional Vietnamese post-funeral rites have two main layers. The ancient layer includes: lễ ngu (third day), lễ tốt khốc (hundredth day), lễ tiểu tường (first death anniversary), lễ đại tường (second death anniversary), lễ trừ phục (đàm tất). The Buddhist layer includes: thất thất weeks (forty-nine days), the hundred-day week, lễ Trung nguyên đốt mã (fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month). There are also twice-daily rice offerings after burial, and annual death anniversaries after trừ phục.

The mourning period in the ancient rites is about twenty-seven months, counted from death to trừ phục. Counting and naming differ among books. Readers should consult multiple sources and apply them according to family circumstances and local custom.