TL;DR: Cúng giỗ (kỵ nhật, the death anniversary ceremony) has three main parts: the offerings, the offering tray, and the văn khấn (prayer text). According to Phan Kế Bính's Việt Nam phong tục, the afternoon before is for the cúng tiên thường (preliminary offering) and the next day is the chính kỵ (main anniversary), and every giỗ, large or small, must begin with one bowl of upturned rice and one boiled egg. The offering tray varies in richness or simplicity according to each household's means, while burning votive paper is a custom that grew out of the blending of several cultural layers.
What is cúng giỗ and why is it called kỵ nhật?
Cúng giỗ, called kỵ nhật in Sino-Vietnamese, is the rite commemorating the death day of grandparents and parents in the family. According to Phan Kế Bính's Việt Nam phong tục (first printed in 1915), the death day of great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents is called the kỵ nhật; the afternoon before is for the cúng tiên thường, and the following day is the main kỵ[1]. Distinguishing these two sessions is the starting point for understanding the whole order of a giỗ.
For the giỗ of distant generations such as great-grandparents and grandparents, the book records that people prepare a chicken with a tray of sticky rice, or a few trays of food; the family altar is offered first, then the descendants gather to eat together. For the giỗ of parents, the custom is usually held more solemnly[1]. This is the minimum level of offerings the author recorded in the early 20th century, not a mandatory rule for every household.
What needs to be prepared for cúng giỗ?
Three main groups need preparing: the offerings, the tray of food for the living, and the prayer text. Among them is one offering that Phan Kế Bính's book stresses as indispensable.
Minimum offerings
According to the book, whether the giỗ is large or small does not matter, as long as one bowl of upturned rice and one boiled egg are always offered first[1]. The phrase "làm đầu" shows this is the offering placed at the head of the tray, not a side dish. In addition, each household prepares chicken, sticky rice, or a few trays of food as it can.
Guests at a giỗ mostly do not come empty-handed: some bring tea, areca, or wine; some bring incense and votive paper to make an offering, and only afterward sit down to drink[1]. This is a custom the book recorded in the early 20th century.
The offering tray and its scale
The size of the tray depends on two factors: the social standing of the deceased and the family's economic means. For a village notable's house, sometimes the whole village came to the giỗ; for a teacher's house with many students, the students also attended in full; for an official's house, the canton and district notables were usually present for the rite, and the eating and drinking were therefore extremely costly and troublesome[1]. This description shows that at the time, a large giỗ was a community occasion, not only a family rite.
The prayer text
There is no single standard prayer text for cúng giỗ. Lê Đức Hạnh's work (2008), surveying the practice of cúng sao giải hạn among Vietnamese in the northern delta, showed that prayer texts were often copied by hand or taken from printed versions in various books, for example Tập Khấn Nôm by the author Thái Bình, Văn khấn cổ truyền Việt Nam edited by the Venerable Thích Thanh Duệ and Nguyễn Bích Hằng, or Văn khấn nôm truyền thống by the Venerable Thích Viên Thành[2]. This is evidence that prayer texts are transmitted from many sources, with no single original document.
A 2025 study by Đinh Lan Hương on ritual language in Bà Chúa Xứ worship analyzed the familiar structure of folk prayer: five successive parts, opening with reverence, introducing the petitioner, presenting the offerings, making the petition, and closing with a vow[3]. This structure can serve as a reference frame when composing a cúng giỗ prayer, though the specific content depends on the family.
How does the order of the giỗ day unfold?
According to Phan Kế Bính's book, the order has two sessions: the afternoon before is the cúng tiên thường, and the following day is the main kỵ[1]. After the family altar rite, the descendants gather to eat together[1]. The incense offering and reading of the prayer usually take place before guests are invited to the meal.
It should be noted that the old book records customs at a specific historical moment, so it cannot be applied wholesale to every household today. Many families now condense it into one session, or hold the rite on the actual death day. This is a difference between the book's convention and modern practice, not an error.
Where does votive paper in cúng giỗ come from?
Votive paper is an offering commonly seen at a giỗ, but its origin is not simple. According to Trần Đình Hằng (2015), in the article Các yếu tố nguồn cội của vàng mã published in Tạp chí Nghiên cứu Tôn giáo, votive paper formed from the blending of several cultural layers[4]. The article cites the belief that ancestors do not disappear at death but move to live in the other realm; they are always present to witness and watch over their descendants, shown by the ceaseless presence of the incense bowl and the ancestral tablet on the altar[4].
Three aspects highlighting the family's hương hỏa function are also pointed out by this author: first, having someone to continue the line and bring honor; second, not letting family members fall into hunger and rags; third, not being despised or insulted by others, both in life and after death[4]. From this, everyday needs in this world are inferred similarly for ancestors in the next[4]. This is the reasoning behind the custom of offering votive paper, not an official religious rule.
The different kinds of giỗ and how to tell them apart
| Kind of giỗ | For whom | Features according to Phan Kế Bính's book |
|---|---|---|
| Kỵ nhật | Great-grandparents, grandparents, parents | Afternoon before is cúng tiên thường, following day is the main kỵ[1] |
| Giỗ xa | Great-grandparents and grandparents | A chicken, a tray of sticky rice or a few trays, altar rite first, then descendants gather[1] |
| Giỗ cha mẹ | Parents | Customarily held more grandly[1] |
| Giỗ thầy học | The teacher and the teacher's wife | Fellow students prepare offerings and bring them to the rite; some places buy kỵ land so its yield funds the giỗ[1] |
The book also records a notable custom: students had to mourn their teacher for three years, called tâm tang, meaning mourning in the heart only[1]. From then on, whenever the death day of the teacher or the teacher's wife came, the students together prepared offerings and brought them to the rite. If the teacher's family declined and had no one to continue the rites, the fellow students gathered at the house of the Trưởng tràng to conduct the giỗ for both the teacher and the teacher's wife[1]. In some places, students also contributed money to build a shrine to the teacher and buy kỵ land; year after year, its yield was used for the giỗ[1]. This is a form of giỗ outside the family, reflecting the teacher-student bond in the old society.
Folk beliefs about choosing the day and hour for cúng giỗ
Many families believe the giỗ should be held on the right day and hour, avoiding inauspicious hours. However, historical sources on custom such as Việt Nam phong tục give no specific hour for the rite, only recording that the afternoon before is the cúng tiên thường and the following day is the main kỵ[1]. Choosing a specific hour is usually decided by the family or the ritual master, and no common standard is recorded in existing sources.
Summary
Cúng giỗ requires preparing three groups: offerings, the food tray, and the prayer text. According to Phan Kế Bính's Việt Nam phong tục, the minimum offerings must include one bowl of upturned rice and one boiled egg; the order is the cúng tiên thường in the afternoon before and the main kỵ the following day; the size of the tray depends on the family's means and standing[1]. Votive paper is a custom formed from several cultural layers, tied to beliefs about life after death[4]. The prayer text has no single standard version but is transmitted through various books[2].
