TL;DR: Cúng giỗ vọng is the offering made by those who live far away and cannot return for the giỗ, performed on the giỗ day. According to Toan Ánh in the Nếp cũ series, besides sending offerings to the clan head (the custom of gửi giỗ), these people also perform cúng giỗ vọng on the giỗ day, but cúng giỗ vọng cannot equal the offering made at the home of the clan head.
How do cúng giỗ vọng and tục gửi giỗ differ?
Cúng vọng is the rite of those living far away who cannot return for the death anniversary, performed on the anniversary day. Tục gửi giỗ is the act of bringing offerings to the home of the senior lineage member (the lineage head) to contribute to the anniversary rites. According to Toan Ánh, people far away who cannot return both send offerings to the lineage head and perform cúng vọng on the anniversary day[1].
Researcher Toan Ánh, in the Nếp cũ series, records that the death anniversary was usually only celebrated at the home of the eldest son, or if the eldest son had died, at the home of the eldest grandson[1]. The senior lineage member had to handle the anniversary rites, while younger sons, grandsons, and maternal grandchildren could not neglect the anniversaries of their grandparents and parents, so they brought offerings to the home of the lineage head. This bringing of offerings is called gửi giỗ[1].
In folk belief there is a saying, "con đâu cha mẹ đấy," meaning that wherever the children make offerings, the spirits of the parents come there to share in them[1]. Toan Ánh comments that this saying is merely a comfort for those far away, because people still often worry when they cannot return for the anniversary, even though they have cúng vọng[1].
How does tục gửi giỗ actually take place?
The gửi giỗ offering is large or small depending on the financial capacity of the living and the relationship between the living and the dead[1]. According to Toan Ánh's records, a great-great-grandson or great-great-great-grandson might send only a bundle of incense and votive paper; a nephew sending offerings for an uncle might send a few pounds of fruit or a bouquet of flowers along with incense, paper, and candles[1]. Children and grandchildren usually send larger offerings, sometimes a whole pig, a pair of chickens, a basket of glutinous rice, or money along with valuable offerings[1].
Some people, when sending gửi giỗ, buy foods the deceased enjoyed in life. Toan Ánh gives an example: a person who in life used Bắc Hải ink, on the anniversary the descendants would choose Bắc Hải ink and bring it to the home of the lineage head for the offering[1].
Offerings brought by the secondary branches are all presented by the lineage head during the anniversary. After the offerings, if the food is not all eaten, the lineage head divides portions among the descendants of the branches[1].
There are cases where the senior lineage member does not accept the gửi giỗ offerings of a certain person, either because that person is disrespectful to the ancestors, or because that person relies on wealth and looks down on the lineage head. Toan Ánh calls this "a sadness for the one whose gửi giỗ fails," and notes that in that case the person still performs cúng vọng, but cúng vọng cannot equal offering at the home of the lineage head[1].
How is the main anniversary day celebrated at the host's home?
The main anniversary is the exact day of the deceased's passing. From the cáo giỗ ceremony on the eve through the end of the next day, incense is kept burning on the altar, because custom holds that during that time the ancestors are present on the altar, and the incense must not be allowed to go cold[1].
From early on the main anniversary day, descendants must prepare the offering trays; besides the tray for offerings there is a table to receive guests. In wealthier families, pigs or cows are slaughtered, starting from the night or early dawn; out of respect, the head of the pig or cow is usually reserved for offering to Thổ công on the anniversary day[1].
The main anniversary is also the day the host invites guests from the village. Guests coming to the anniversary feast bring offerings for the deceased, usually incense, paper, betel, wine, tea, candles, and fruit. When guests arrive, descendants must receive the offerings and place them on the altar before the guests pay respects; guests bow four times and salute three times before the altar, and the host must personally or through a representative stand to acknowledge[1].
In what circumstances do people far away set up a vọng altar?
According to Thích Phước Thái, Vietnamese today live scattered in many places, sometimes abroad, and with long and difficult roads it is very inconvenient to gather on the death anniversary[3]. None of the sources in this article describes how to set up a vọng altar.
VietNamNet reported on 12/4/2020 a case of bowing toward a distant father's altar at a time of mourning, not an anniversary: Mr. Hà Văn Dũng, from Hoa Sơn commune, Anh Sơn district (Nghệ An), a construction worker in Laos, returned to the country and was taken to the centralized quarantine area of the Command Center of Nam Đàn district Military Command (Nghệ An), nearly 70 km from his home. When he received news that his father had suddenly passed away, the quarantine area steering committee bought an incense bowl and fruit for him to set up an altar right in the area, and many people in quarantine, though strangers, came to offer incense and share his grief[2]. Also according to this newspaper, earlier at 3 pm on 23/3/2020, Mr. Trần Đình Sỹ, from Nghĩa Đàn district (Nghệ An), in quarantine at the Center for Defense and Security Knowledge Training under the Đà Nẵng Military Command, also had a vọng altar set up by officials there because his father had passed away in his hometown[2].
The place names in the above paragraph are administrative unit names as recorded by the newspaper at the time in 2020; since 1/7/2025 the country has organized two-tier local government and no longer has district level, so the names Anh Sơn district, Nam Đàn district, Nghĩa Đàn district now remain only as historical place names.
Is worshipping grandparents and parents in many places against the rules?
According to old custom, ancestor worship, of grandparents and parents, was usually performed in only one place called the từ đường, that is, the common ancestral house. On the death anniversary, descendants and relatives of the extended family gathered there to prepare the offering ceremony[3].
However, Thích Phước Thái, in the Q&A section published on phatgiao.org.vn, holds that today, because social circumstances and living situations differ for each person, many Vietnamese live scattered far apart, so people must be flexible and adaptable in worshipping grandparents and parents in different places[3]. According to this author, the important thing is that although descendants worship in different places, the spirit of each person through prayers directed toward their loved ones remains united[3].
The author also raises a notable argument: this is only a form of memorial, and if out of 365 days a year descendants offer to grandparents and parents only once, one cannot say that parents and grandparents must suffer hunger and thirst on the remaining days. From this, the author holds that ancestor worship is meant to express the spirit of gratitude and repayment of grace, directed toward one's origins in a culture of filial piety[3].
Does moving the death anniversary to another day affect the deceased?
According to the Advisory Board of Giác Ngộ Newspaper, the anniversary offering primarily means remembrance and gratitude, the offerings are according to one's heart, and then family reunion. Buddhists regard adjusting the anniversary date as an expedient means, as long as everyone in the extended family can attend in full, and there is no notion that "moving the anniversary day will be bad for the deceased"[4].
Also according to the Buddhist view presented in this advisory article, after a person dies, the consciousness follows karma and is reborn into the corresponding realm within the six paths. Except for a few beings in the hungry ghost realm, humans making offerings can eat and drink, while others cannot; but if merit is created and dedicated, then wherever they are they can receive it[4].
This is the understanding from a Buddhist viewpoint as stated by the Advisory Board of Giác Ngộ Newspaper, not a general rule for every family.
Table comparing forms of anniversary offering when far from home
| Form | Who performs it | Location | Offerings | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gửi giỗ | Younger sons, grandsons, maternal grandchildren, those far away | Home of the senior lineage member or lineage head | Money, incense, paper, fruit, flowers, chicken, glutinous rice, sometimes a whole pig | Large or small depending on financial capacity and relationship with the deceased[1] |
| Cúng vọng | Those far away who cannot return for the anniversary[1] | Not stated in the source | Not stated in the source | Performed on the anniversary day, in addition to gửi giỗ; cannot equal offering at the home of the lineage head[1] |
| Offering at the từ đường | Senior lineage member, descendants gathered | Common ancestral house of the clan | Trays prepared by the lineage head, with contributions from branches | Incense and lamps kept burning from cáo giỗ through the end of the next day[1] |
| Offering at private homes in many places | Descendants living scattered in many places | Private altar of each family | Not stated in the source | Thích Phước Thái holds it suits the circumstances, as long as prayers directed toward loved ones remain united[3] |
Can cúng vọng replace returning for the death anniversary?
According to Toan Ánh, those who cannot return for the anniversary still perform cúng vọng, but "cúng vọng cannot equal offering at the home of the lineage head"[1].
