Is it mandatory to perform the full-month and first-birthday ceremonies on the exact date?

No, it's not mandatory. Traditionally, the ceremony date is based on the lunar calendar and can be postponed a few days depending on family circumstances or advice from elders. What matters is sincerity, not being too strict about the date.

Can the offerings be reduced if the family cannot afford a full set?

Absolutely. Offerings can be reduced based on financial means and local customs. For example, a simple tray with sticky rice, sweet soup, fruits, and incense is enough. The sincerity of the family is what matters most.

Is it required to recite a specific prayer text?

No, it's not required. You can use a traditional prayer from books or the internet, or write your own sincere words. The core is to express gratitude and pray for good things for the baby.

How to Prepare Full-Month and First-Birthday Trays

How to Arrange the Offering Trays for a Baby's Full-Month and First-Birthday Ceremonies

Introduction

The full-month ceremony (celebrating a baby's first month of life) and the thôi nôi ceremony (celebrating the baby's first birthday) are two important rites of passage in the life of a young child in Vietnam. These are occasions for the family to give thanks to the ancestors and the deities who have watched over mother and child through a safe birth, and at the same time to wish for good things for the baby's future. This article will guide you through preparing the offerings and arranging the trays in a detailed, easy-to-follow way. Please note, however, that customs can vary by region, by belief and by each family's circumstances; what follows is a common approach offered for reference, not the only correct way.

In folk belief, the 12 Bà Mụ (the twelve midwife goddesses) are said to each be responsible for shaping one part of the child's body and for watching over the baby in the first days of life. The book Việt Nam phong tục by Phan Kế Bính (1915) records the custom of cúng mụ with 12 pairs of tiny shoes, 12 betel quid pieces along with crab, snail, bánh đúc, and explains that the custom exists because our people believe there are 12 midwife goddesses who shape the human being. Alongside the 12 Bà Mụ there is also Đức Ông, in some places replaced by three Đức Thầy. The full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies are occasions to give thanks to those who shaped and protected the child.

A comparison table of offerings and how to arrange the full-month and thôi nôi trays, tray by tray.

Offering tray	Placement	Main offerings
Tray for the higher deities (12 Bà Mụ and Đức Ông)	In a solemn place, on the altar or a separate table, facing the main door	12 small bowls of sweet soup, 1 large bowl of sweet soup, 12 small plates of sticky rice, 1 large plate of sticky rice, a whole boiled chicken or duck, a bộ tam sên offering set, fruit, fresh flowers, betel and areca, incense, candles, tea, wine, plain water, votive paper, rice, salt
Tray for the ancestors (grandparents and forebears)	On the family altar, or on the inner side relative to the tray for the higher deities	A tray of rice dishes or sticky rice, sweet soup, fruit, flowers, incense, lamps, wine, water
Offerings for the baby (khai hoa and bắt miếng rites)	In front of the offering trays	A plate of fruit, sweets or a dish the baby can taste, paper and pen, books, coins, toys

Who are the 12 Bà Mụ?

According to folk belief, the 12 Bà Mụ are twelve figures said to shape each part of the child's body and to watch over the baby in the first days of life. The full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies are occasions for the family to give thanks to them. The book Việt Nam phong tục by Phan Kế Bính (1915) also notes that the custom of cúng mụ has existed in our country for a long time, with offerings such as 12 pairs of tiny shoes and 12 betel quid pieces, and explains that the custom exists because we believe there are 12 midwife goddesses who shape the human being.

What offerings need to be prepared for the full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies?

Depending on the region and economic circumstances, the offerings can be increased or reduced. Below is the basic list commonly used:

Tray for the higher deities (12 Bà Mụ and Đức Ông):
12 small bowls of sweet soup (usually chè trôi nước or white bean sweet soup), 1 large bowl of sweet soup.
12 small plates of sticky rice (gấc sticky rice or mung bean sticky rice), 1 large plate of sticky rice.
1 whole boiled chicken (or boiled duck), wings folded, with garlic chives. Some places choose a boiled rooster for a baby boy.
1 bộ tam sên set (boiled pork, boiled eggs, boiled shrimp or crab), commonly used in the South.
Fruit (a five-fruit tray), fresh flowers (chrysanthemums, roses), betel and areca, incense, candles, tea, wine, plain water.
Votive paper: 12 sets of paper clothes for the 12 Bà Mụ, 1 set for Đức Ông, along with votive money.
Rice and salt in small jars.
The large bowl of sweet soup and the large plate of sticky rice are the portion offered to Đức Ông (or Bà Chúa, as some places call this figure).
Tray for the ancestors (grandparents and forebears):
A tray of rice dishes or sticky rice, sweet soup, fruit, flowers, incense, lamps, wine, water.
Offerings for the baby (khai hoa and bắt miếng rites):
A plate of fruit, sweets, or a dish the baby can taste (symbolically).
Paper and pen, books, coins, toys (depending on the profession-choosing rite).

The thôi nôi tray is usually the same as the full-month tray, though some families reduce the number of sweet soup bowls and sticky rice plates.

How should the full-month and thôi nôi offering trays be arranged?

How should the date and time of the full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies be chosen?

The full-month ceremony is usually held on the day the baby turns one month old (by the lunar calendar). Traditionally, if the baby is a girl the date is moved back 2 days, and for a boy 1 day, from the birth date, but many families today are not overly strict about this. The rule of two days back for girls and one for boys is followed only in some regions; elsewhere the ceremony is held exactly on the lunar month anniversary, and there is no nationwide standard.
The thôi nôi ceremony is usually held on the day the baby turns one year old (by the lunar calendar), moved back 1 day for a boy and 2 days for a girl (depending on the region).
The hour of the ceremony is usually chosen for early morning or late afternoon, avoiding inauspicious hours. You can consult older family members or a feng shui master.

Arranging the offering trays

The tray for the higher deities (Bà Mụ, Đức Ông) is placed in a solemn spot, usually on the altar or a separate table, facing the main door.
The tray for the ancestors is placed on the family altar, or on the inner side relative to the tray for the higher deities.
Arrange the offerings in layers: sweet soup, sticky rice, chicken, fruit, flowers, votive paper, and so on. Keep the arrangement balanced and attractive.
Note: do not place the offering trays near flammable objects, and keep them out of children's reach.

What is the order of the full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies?

Step 1: Clean and prepare the space

Tidy and wipe down the altar.
Place the offering trays in their designated positions, light the candles and incense.
Ensure fire safety: place candles and incense on heat-resistant plates, away from curtains, votive paper and children's reach.

Step 2: Prayers and offerings

The head of the household (usually the baby's father or mother) lights incense, stands before the trays and recites the văn khấn (prayer text).
The prayer text can follow a traditional version or be written personally, as long as it is sincere. The main content includes: stating one's name, the date, the family's address, the reason for the ceremony, expressing gratitude to the 12 Bà Mụ, Đức Ông and the ancestors, and asking for blessings for the baby.
After praying, wait until the incense has burned about one third (or until the incense stick burns out), then burn the votive paper.

Step 3: The khai hoa (bắt miếng) rite

After the prayers, an elder (usually someone of senior standing) holds the baby before the trays, takes a flower sprig or a morsel of food (such as a piece of fruit or some porridge) and waves it back and forth before the baby's mouth while saying good wishes, such as "eat well, grow fast" or "a hearty eater, quick to grow".
This rite symbolises a wish that the baby will later eat well and healthily, and not skip meals.

Step 4: The profession-choosing rite (thôi nôi, optional)

For the thôi nôi ceremony, after khai hoa the family may lay out objects representing different professions (books, pens, money, toys, a stethoscope, a hammer, a mirror, scissors, and so on) in front of the baby for the baby to choose. The object the baby picks up first is said to foretell the baby's future career.
This rite is also popularly called bốc thôi nôi (picking up objects).
This is only a folk game and should not be taken too seriously.

Step 5: Burning votive paper and finishing

After the incense stick has burned out, take the votive paper to be burned in a safe place, with a burner or a metal basin, away from wind so the fire does not spread.
Scatter the rice and salt outside in the yard (or at the main door) after burning the votive paper.
Finally, the family can share the offerings, dine together or share cakes and sweets with neighbours and relatives.

How do the đầy cữ, full-month and first-year ceremonies differ?

The đầy cữ, full-month and first-year ceremonies are three separate milestones, not combined into one. According to Bùi Xuân Mỹ (2001) in Tục thờ cúng của người Việt, the đầy cữ ceremony is performed by the parents when the child completes the cữ period, followed by the full-month ceremony when the child is a full month old; besides the cúng mụ with offerings like those of the đầy cữ ceremony, the full-month ceremony also includes offerings to the Thổ công (earth god) and the ancestors. Better-off families also hold a banquet inviting relatives and friends. Guests on this occasion give gifts for the baby, not for the mother as at the đầy cữ ceremony.

Also according to Bùi Xuân Mỹ (2001), the first-year ceremony is called cúng đầy tuổi or lễ thôi nôi. On this occasion, quite a few families set out lavish feasts, sincerely present their prayers before the family altar, and receive a noticeably larger number of guests than at the full-month ceremony.

Why does the thôi nôi ceremony include the custom of testing the child?

The custom of laying out objects for a one-year-old child to choose is not unique to Vietnam but has its roots in Chinese books; the Vietnamese adopted it and turned it into a game of their own. Lê Quý Đôn in Vân đài loại ngữ (translation by Trần Văn Giáp, 2006) cites Chinese books recording the practice of laying out toys before a one-year-old to see whether the child is greedy or honest, foolish or wise, calling it "thí nhi". Phan Kế Bính (1915) in Việt Nam phong tục also notes that this was originally a Chinese custom: well-off families in our country followed it, but laid out only a few items such as a seal, bow and arrows, brush and ink, and a plough, called the four items of văn, vũ, canh, độc (letters, martial arts, farming, reading), to see what profession the child would later take up.

According to Bùi Xuân Mỹ's (2001) account of the custom of testing the child at the first-year ceremony: on this occasion the child is dressed neatly and seated before the objects laid out, such as bow and arrows, paper and brush for boys, or knife, scissors, needle and thread for girls, and then picks up with their own hand the thing they like. The folk notion then was to guess that a boy choosing the bow or the brush and paper would follow a martial or a scholarly path, and a girl choosing needle and thread would have a talent for housekeeping. This is how people of old guessed at a child's inclinations; it is not a certain prediction of the child's profession.

What does the văn khấn for the full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies include?

Since there is no specific reference source, you can refer to the prayer texts commonly found in books or online, or write your own. The main points usually include:

I bow to the nine directions of Heaven, the ten directions of the Buddha, the Buddhas of the ten directions.
I bow to the Holy Sages, the deities, the Bà Mụ (12 Bà Mụ) and Đức Ông.
I bow to the ancestors on both the paternal and maternal sides.
Stating the baby's full name and age, the date and hour of the ceremony, and the reason (full month or thôi nôi).
Giving thanks to those who shaped the child and protected mother and child through a safe birth.
Asking them to continue to bless the baby with a good appetite, quick growth, good health, obedience and good fortune.
Finally, asking them to witness the family's sincerity and to bless the family with peace and happiness.

What important notes are there for the full-month and thôi nôi ceremonies?

Regional differences: People in the North usually use white bean sweet soup and xôi vò; people in the Central region may use bánh ít and sweets; people in the South usually use chè trôi nước, gấc sticky rice, along with tam sên. Consult local customs or ask older family members. The books used in this article mainly describe the practices of the Kinh people in the North, so they should not be generalised to every region or every ethnic group.
Safety: When burning votive paper, do it in a well-ventilated place with a heat-resistant container (a burner, a metal basin), do not let children come near, and do not burn too much paper at once.
Sincerity comes first: The most important thing is the family's sincere respect; do not worry too much about the form or the completeness of the offerings.
Not superstition: This is a traditional cultural ceremony that helps bind the family and community together; it should not be seen as a factor that decides a child's fate.