The Betel and Areca Nut Custom - An Indispensable Offering in Vietnamese Weddings

The betel and areca custom: an indispensable offering in Vietnamese weddings

What is the legend of betel and areca, and where does the custom of chewing betel come from?

The Vietnamese custom of chewing betel dates back to the Hùng kings and is tied to a moving story of brotherly and marital love. Legend tells of two brothers of the Cao family; because of a misunderstanding the younger brother left and turned into an areca palm by the riverbank, and the elder brother, grieving for him, turned into a betel vine wrapping around the areca trunk. The elder brother's wife, waiting for her husband, turned into lime, and when the lime was smeared on the betel leaf, the three came together to form a bright red quid of betel. From then on, betel and areca became a symbol of faithful, steadfast affection.

Beyond the legend, historical records note that betel chewing was not practised only by the Vietnamese. Lê Quý Đôn, in Vân đài loại ngữ (translation by Trần Văn Giáp, 2006), cites a Chinese book describing the areca nut (tân lang) eaten with betel leaf. This is Lê Quý Đôn's record, showing that the betel-chewing custom was known in many places, not only among the Vietnamese.

A summary table of the role of betel and areca across wedding rites and the betel-chewing kit.

What is the cultural meaning of the betel quid?

More than a refined pastime, the betel quid carries many layers of meaning in the spiritual life of the Vietnamese:

• A symbol of social connection: The betel quid is what binds people in affection. When guests arrive, the host offers betel to show hospitality and regard. A quid of betel to make acquaintance, a quid of betel to make friends, a quid of betel to seal a kindred bond. Phan Kế Bính (1915) in Việt Nam phong tục also records that guests visiting a house must be entertained with betel and areca, and that once people have traded and shared a quid of betel, they must show one another deference.
• A symbol of reverence: On festivals and death anniversaries, the offering tray set before ancestors and deities must include a plate of betel and areca, expressing the sincerity of later generations. According to Phan Kế Bính (1915), betel and areca head the list of ritual offerings: sacrifices, funerals, weddings, and any joyful occasion all hold the betel quid in high regard; for sacrifices, sometimes a whole bunch of areca is used as the offering.
• A symbol of romantic love: The betel quid is love's envoy, leading the way in matchmaking and joining young men and women as husband and wife. At a wedding, betel and areca are the most important offering, indispensable.
• A symbol of the universe: In the South, the betel tray at a wedding is understood to represent all things in the universe. Because of this sacredness, people refrain from using boats or sampans to carry the betel tray.

What is the role of betel and areca in the wedding rites?

In the lễ dạm ngõ

Dạm ngõ is the first rite in the wedding process, marking the two families' official commitment. At this rite, the groom's family brings a tray of offerings to the bride's family, and whatever the circumstances, betel leaf and areca nut are always an indispensable part. The presence of betel and areca on the tray expresses the groom's family's respect for the bride's family and a pledge of a lasting relationship.

In the lễ ăn hỏi

The lễ ăn hỏi is an important rite that publicly announces the young couple's union before the relatives of both families. Bùi Xuân Mỹ (2001) in Tục thờ cúng của người Việt states that choosing the date and preparing offerings for the lễ ăn hỏi must follow the bride's family's requirements, with enough areca and tea to give to all relatives on both sides as well as friends. In the countryside, the lễ ăn hỏi usually consists of only a few bottles of wine and just enough betel and areca to give out; each gift portion is about three areca nuts, or if there is little, one nut per person. Wealthier families elaborate each gift portion with bánh chưng, bánh dày, a package of nem, a package of tea, a few areca nuts and four betel leaves. After the lễ ăn hỏi comes the announcement of the engagement and the sharing of betel: each gift portion consists of one betel leaf, one areca nut and a little lotus-seed jam and sweet soup, wrapped in pink paper, folded into a square box, with the character for "hỷ" (joy) pasted on top in silver tinsel paper.

According to Phan Kế Bính (1915), in marriage arrangements the bride's family would often ask the groom's family for a few thousand areca nuts to share out among relatives. The quantity of betel and areca is usually an even number, symbolising completeness and fulfilment. A beautiful tray of betel and areca shows the groom's family's thoughtfulness and goodwill and is a source of pride for the bride's family.

In the lễ cưới

At the wedding, betel and areca appear not only on the ceremonial tray but are also used to welcome guests. Guests who come to share the joy are offered a betel quid as a word of thanks and a sharing of happiness. The betel quid at a wedding symbolises a vow of lifelong devotion and the harmony and good fortune of the young couple. According to Song Mai and Quỳnh Trang, compilers (2006), in Phong tục thờ cúng của người Việt, after the bride is brought home, the groom's family sets up an altar to perform the lễ Tơ hồng (the Red Thread ceremony) with betel and wine as offerings; at the lễ hợp cẩn (the sharing of the wedding cup), the husband uses the betel box to present to Tơ hồng, gives his wife a piece, then pours wine for the two to drink together.

What is special about the betel-chewing kit and the art of preparing betel?

The Vietnamese betel-chewing kit is rich and exquisite, made from many materials such as bronze, silver and ceramic. The main items include:

• Cơi đựng trầu (betel box): The container for betel, often carved with delicate patterns.
• Bình vôi (lime pot): The vessel for holding lime, with a lid and usually a distinctive shape.
• Chìa vôi (lime spatula): The stick for taking lime from the pot.
• Ống nhổ (spittoon): The vessel for spitting out betel residue and juice.
• Dao bổ cau (areca knife): A knife made for splitting the areca nut into bite-sized pieces.
• Ống ngoáy, chìa ngoáy (pestle and stirrer): Implements for the elderly, helping crush the betel before chewing.

The art of preparing betel requires skill from the person doing it. A fine betel quid must be folded into neat squares, with a harmonious balance of areca, betel leaf, a pinch of tobacco and lime. Middle-aged people may chew it directly to feel the spicy, pungent flavour, while the elderly often use the pestle to soften the betel before chewing.

What is the custom of worshipping ông Bình Vôi?

In northern and central Vietnam, the custom of worshipping ông Bình Vôi is still widespread. When a lime pot is old and the layer of lime clings so tightly to its walls that it can no longer be used, people do not throw it away but take it and place it under an ancient tree in the village. On traditional festival days, people come to burn incense and make offerings to ông Bình Vôi, showing reverence for an object bound up with the community's spiritual life. Song Mai and Quỳnh Trang, compilers (2006), also record another folk belief: many places regard the lime pot as a sign of wealth, and so they never let the rim of the pot become chipped and often smear more lime on the rim, because they believe that the fuller the lime pot, the more wealth there is in the house. This is a folk belief, not something that has been verified.

Betel and areca in modern society

Today, the custom of chewing betel and offering betel is less widespread than before. However, betel and areca still hold an irreplaceable place in important rites, especially weddings. At modern weddings, betel and areca are often presented in attractive boxes, combined with other offerings in a new style, but the spiritual meaning is preserved intact.

Maintaining this custom is not only a mark of respect for tradition but also a way for each Vietnamese person to connect with the cultural roots of the nation. The betel quid is not only part of the rite but also a symbol of fine values: hospitality, faithfulness, brotherly affection and the longing for a happy, fulfilled life. The betel-chewing implements have now become the heritage of a fine custom, preserved and treasured in the mind of every Vietnamese person.

Overview article on the topic: What rites make up the life-cycle rituals of the Vietnamese?

• Bùi Xuân Mỹ (2001). Tục thờ cúng của người Việt. Hà Nội: NXB Văn hoá Thông tin
• Lê Quý Đôn và cộng sự (2006). Vân đài loại ngữ (Lê Quý Đôn, bản dịch Trần Văn Giáp) (https://archive.org/details/vandailoaingu_tvg)