TL;DR: Giỗ hết đại tường is the memorial held at the end of two years of mourning, marking the final stage of the mourning period in old rites. A traditional tray usually has sticky rice, boiled chicken, bánh chưng or bánh giầy, betel and areca, incense and lamps, votive paper, and a bowl of rice with a boiled egg on top. About two months after đại tường, the family chooses a day for the đàm tế rite to remove all mourning garments and return to ordinary clothing.
What is the giỗ hết đại tường and how does it differ from the first death anniversary?
The giỗ hết đại tường is the memorial ceremony that marks the end of two years of mourning, the final stage of the mourning period in the old rites. As Phan Kế Bính records in Việt Nam phong tục, after the burial the bereaved family passes in turn through the các tuần: the tuần chung thất (forty-nine days), the tuần tốt khốc (one hundred days), then the lễ tiểu tường (first death anniversary, one year) and the lễ đại tường (giỗ hết, two years). At the first anniversary only the heavy mourning garments such as the thorn staff and the mourning cap are put aside, but the family still wears mourning dress for the remaining time. At the đại tường, the ceremony is held more solemnly because this is the official end of the three years of mourning according to the old rites.
Phan Kế Bính wrote clearly that the giỗ hết after two years is called the đại tường; two months after that, a day is chosen for the rite of removing mourning called the đàm tế, at which the mourning garments are finally put away entirely and replaced with ordinary clothing. Thus the đại tường and the đàm tế are two different milestones: the đại tường is the memorial ceremony, the đàm tế is the actual rite of putting off mourning.
Why must the đại tường pass before mourning is put off?
In the conception of the old rites, the three years of mourning (in practice counted as two years by the lunar calendar) are the time in which children express their grief and remembrance. Mourning cannot be put off immediately when the two years end, but two more months must be waited so as to distinguish clearly between the memorial ceremony and the rite of putting off mourning. The book Vũ trung tùy bút by Phạm Đình Hổ (translated by Nguyễn Hữu Tiến) mentions the lễ tế ngu, the tế phục, the tế đại tiểu tường and the đàm tất, distinguishing clearly between the tế rites and ordinary offerings[1].
What offerings are placed on the offering tray for the giỗ hết đại tường?
The offering tray for the giỗ hết đại tường has no fixed formula for every household. The degree of abundance or frugality depends on the family's circumstances and local custom. Nonetheless, from Phan Kế Bính's records and the customs still handed down, the following common offerings can be pictured.
The main offerings on the tray
| Offering | Meaning and arrangement |
|---|---|
| Xôi, boiled chicken | The main tray offered to the ancestors, usually placed in the middle of the altar |
| Bánh chưng or bánh giầy | Traditional offerings; some households give them to relatives and neighbours |
| A bowl of rice turned upside down and a boiled egg | Phan Kế Bính records that on the death anniversary, however great or small, there must be a bowl of rice turned upside down over a boiled egg as the first item |
| Betel and areca, wine, tea | Offered together with incense and lamps, expressing sincerity |
| Votive paper | Burned around the tiểu tường and đại tường; only the later votive paper is truly paper offered for the deceased to use |
| Incense, lamps, flowers and fruit | Placed on the ancestral altar throughout the ceremony |
As for votive goods, Phan Kế Bính notes that votive paper is usually made into things people commonly use, such as blankets and mosquito nets, clothes, chests, and trays and bowls, and that some households spend fifty, seventy or a few hundred piastres on votive goods. Some households burn votive paper at home, others burn it at the pagoda, and still others hold a làm chay ceremony offering to the tam tử phủ lasting five or seven days, a practice he also records.
Must a large feast be made?
According to Phan Kế Bính's record, the bereaved family passes through many tuần tiết from the encoffining to the đàm tất: the day of thành phục, the day of phát dẫn, three days of tế ngu, then the đại tường, the tiểu tường, the first anniversary and the giỗ hết; rich households hold elaborate tế bái, poor households offer only simple cấp offerings; each tuần tiết involves inviting relatives, villagers and guests, along with bánh giầy and bánh chưng to give. Thus the scale of the feast depends on the family's means, and there is no rule requiring it to be large.
In the journal Nghiên cứu Tôn giáo in 2013, a study by Đỗ Lan Hiền quotes the teaching in the Tế thống chapter of the Kinh Lễ that when parents die, children must take charge of the funeral and the tế lễ, but should keep it simple and avoid ostentation; the core element lies in sincere devotion, not in the offerings. The article also notes the reality that many families, worried about how the funeral will affect their future fate, following the words of a thầy, following village custom, or burdened by social debt, are forced to perform elaborate and costly rituals.
How is the offering tray arranged and what is the sequence of the đại tường ceremony?
The arrangement of the offering tray for the giỗ hết đại tường is basically the same as for other death anniversaries, but the atmosphere is more solemn because this is the ceremony ending mourning. The sequence is usually carried out in the following steps.
- Before the anniversary day, the family prepares the altar, cleans the incense bowl and the memorial tablet, and prepares the offerings.
- On the afternoon of the previous day they make the cúng tiên thường, and the next day is the main kỵ day. Phan Kế Bính records this custom in the section Kỵ nhật: on the afternoon of the previous day they make the cúng tiên thường, and the next day is the main kỵ day.
- On the morning of the main day, the head of the household lights incense, prays to the ancestors and the deceased, and presents the offerings.
- After the ceremony, the children and grandchildren gather to eat and drink. Phan Kế Bính writes that for distant anniversaries people prepare a chicken, a board of xôi or a few trays of food, first offering to the ancestors, then the children and grandchildren gather to eat and drink together.
- As for the death anniversary of parents, custom usually makes it more elaborate.
How is the đàm tế rite of putting off mourning performed?
Two months after the đại tường, the family chooses a day for the rite of removing mourning called the đàm tế. At that time, according to Phan Kế Bính, all the mourning garments are finally taken off and ordinary clothing is worn. The usual sequence is that the head of the household and the bereaved wear mourning garments to perform the ceremony before the altar, then change into ordinary clothes, burn votive paper, and the mourning period ends. From then on the family returns to normal life, no longer observing the abstinences of the mourning period.
In Vũ trung tùy bút, Phạm Đình Hổ discusses the lễ hai lạy and bốn lạy and puts forward the view that in ancient funerals, from the moment a parent died until the funeral procession went to burial, two bows were used and no văn tế was used; put another way, people kept the household custom of a child serving his parents, treating them with the rites used for the living, because they could not yet bear to regard their beloved as departed[1]. He also criticises the custom of thành phục with lavish feasts and tế lễ, turned into a festive gathering[1].
Why do differences exist between regions and schools?
There are considerable differences between regions and between the understandings of the old rites and Buddhist rites. Phan Kế Bính notes that the custom of burning votive paper usually takes place at the trung nguyên tuần in the seventh month, but quite a few households also burn it on the first anniversary and the giỗ hết. According to Trần Đình Hằng, in a 2015 study on the origins of votive paper published in the journal Nghiên cứu Tôn giáo, the incense bowl must always be kept burning, and this should be understood in two respects: that there is always someone to light incense, and that the offering tray for the death anniversary is complete[2].
Phạm Đình Hổ distinguishes clearly between the old rites and Buddhist rites. In his view, rites such as the tuần thất thất (forty-nine days), the tuần trăm ngày, the lễ cáo hè, the lễ điện hè, the lễ tống hè and the lễ Trung nguyên burning of votive paper all originate in Buddhist rites and not in the rites of the ancients[1]. Buddhist doctrine holds that the dead are judged once every seven days in the court of King Yama[1].
On what points do the schools disagree?
The books do not agree on the time for burning votive paper or on the scale of the feast. According to Phan Kế Bính, some households burn votive paper at home, some at the pagoda, and some hold a làm chay ceremony offering to the tam tử phủ over five or seven days. In folk belief, Phạm Đình Hổ regards the lễ hai lạy as a hung lễ, while according to the hội điển of the Chính Hòa year the court rites also had only two bows[1]. This shows that even among the learned of old there were many different understandings, and this article takes the records of Phan Kế Bính and Phạm Đình Hổ as its main points of reference.
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestion: how should the giỗ hết đại tường be done properly?
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestion: the giỗ hết đại tường should not be turned into a competition of feasting. The core is sincere devotion to the deceased and the gathering of children and grandchildren. If the family is in straitened circumstances, a bowl of rice turned upside down over a boiled egg, a stick of incense and a lamp are enough for remembrance. What should be avoided is borrowing money to make a large feast, or believing that a tall tray and a full feast will bring blessing. According to the 2013 study by Đỗ Lan Hiền, if a person treated his parents badly while they were alive, but when they died laid out a tall tray and a full feast and built graves, only to look after his own future fate and destiny and to deceive the world, then that act is not filial piety but unfilial and inhuman.
As for the time of putting off mourning, if the family follows the old rites, the đàm tế is performed two months after the đại tường. If local custom differs, it is best to ask the opinion of the elders in the clan so as to agree, avoiding disputes within the family.
Common misunderstandings about the giỗ hết đại tường
Is the giỗ hết just the first anniversary plus one year?
Not exactly. The first anniversary (tiểu tường) and the giỗ hết (đại tường) are two ceremonies with different meanings. The tiểu tường marks the putting aside of the heavy mourning garments, but the family still wears mourning dress. The đại tường is the milestone that ends the two years of mourning, and two months after that the đàm tế is held to put off the mourning garments entirely.
Does a large feast mean filial piety?
No. According to Đỗ Lan Hiền (2013), in the Tế thống chapter of the Kinh Lễ, Confucius is quoted as saying that sincere devotion is the essential thing, and that it is not by offerings that one succeeds. The article also criticises the reality that many families, worried about their future fate, perform elaborate and costly rituals, and some even sell their gardens and fields to offer to the mouths and bellies of the hạch ăn.
After putting off mourning, may one hold a wedding or build a house?
According to the old rites, after the đàm tế the family returns to normal life, no longer observing the abstinences of the mourning period. However, some regions still keep the custom of abstaining for a further time. This is folk belief, and there is no rule requiring it in the old rites.
