TL;DR: There is no single standard Northern Vietnamese gio (death anniversary) offering tray, only a range of variations: a modest tray may have boiled chicken, sticky rice, and a few soups, while a grander one follows the four bowls and six plates pattern. The one common point recorded by Phan Ke Binh in the early 20th century is that a bowl of rice with a boiled egg placed at the head of the tray was always required. Today arrangement differs by household, so treat this as a suggested framework rather than a binding rule.
What is a ngày giỗ (death anniversary) in the Vietnamese household tradition?
Ngày giỗ, also called ngày kỵ nhật or ngày kỵ, is the day on which descendants commemorate a deceased member of the family, calculated annually according to the lunar calendar. According to Phan Kế Bính's records in Việt Nam phong tục, the death anniversary of great-grandparents, grandparents and parents is called ngày kỵ nhật; the afternoon before is the cúng tiên thường (the preliminary offering), and the following day is the main kỵ day. This way of naming shows that a ngày giỗ is not a single ceremony but a sequence of two days, with a preparation part and a main ceremony part.
From the third year onward, the death anniversary of the deceased is called Cát Kỵ, and according to the common understanding in folk custom, this practice is usually maintained until the end of the fifth generation, after which people believe the soul has been liberated or reincarnated, so no separate death anniversary is held[1]. This is a folk convention, not a law, so many family lines still maintain the giỗ into the sixth or seventh generation if descendants wish to.
A distinction must be made between giỗ Tiểu Tường and giỗ Đại Tường, the two death anniversaries within the mourning period, still heavy with a sorrowful atmosphere, and the ordinary ngày giỗ, which is an occasion for both paternal and maternal descendants to gather[1]. The offering trays in these two cases differ in atmosphere and scale, so when asking what a northern mâm giỗ includes, one should specify whether one is asking about an ordinary giỗ or a giỗ within the mourning period.
What traditional dishes are on a northern mâm cúng giỗ (offering tray)?
The traditional northern mâm cúng giỗ revolves around four groups: the main offering dishes of boiled chicken or boiled meat, xôi (sticky rice), soups and stir-fried dishes, along with elaborately prepared dishes such as nem, chả, and giò. There is no closed list, because the offering tray changes with the circumstances of each household, each family line, and each region.
For giỗ xa, that is, the death anniversaries of great-grandparents and grandparents, Phan Kế Bính records that people prepare one chicken, one tray of xôi or a few offering trays; while for the giỗ of parents, the custom is usually more generous. A detail rarely repeated is also recorded by him: regardless of whether it is done large or small, there must always be a bowl of rice with a boiled egg placed on top at the head of the tray. This is a mandatory common point in the records of the early 20th century, more important than any list of specific dishes.
The dishes commonly found on a northern mâm giỗ, according to folk belief and to the descriptions in popular articles about custom, include:
- Boiled chicken or a whole boiled capon.
- Xôi, usually plain sticky rice or mung bean sticky rice, molded into a round shape.
- Bamboo shoot soup, bóng soup, glass noodle soup, mọc soup, or seasonal vegetable soup.
- Fried nem, cinnamon chả, giò lụa, giò thủ, or fish chả.
- Thịt đông in cold season, or braised meat, boiled meat in hot season.
- Raw vegetables, pickled cucumber, pickled scallions served alongside.
- A bowl of rice with a boiled egg on top, placed at the head of the tray.
People avoid placing on the giỗ offering tray dishes such as gỏi, raw dishes, and dishes with a fishy smell, because they believe those dishes defile the altar and the spiritual area[2]. This belief also comes with the taboo of not seasoning or tasting the food before offering it on the altar[2]. This is the voice of belief, not a regulation of any document, and each household may apply it strictly or loosely.
How is a northern offering tray arranged?
Northerners commonly describe a full feast tray as four bowls and six plates, that is, four dishes served in bowls and six served on plates, and this saying also has many variations. The numbers four and six are not a hard rule, but a habitual way of speaking to mean a full, balanced tray between wet and dry dishes.
Phan Kế Bính states that the feast is arranged generously or frugally depending on the wealth of each household; quite a few families entertain relatives and guests, and guests usually bring tea, betel, wine, or votive paper and incense to the giỗ before sitting down to drink. He also records that the house of a village notable might have the whole village come to the giỗ meal, and the house of a teacher with many students would have all the students come to the giỗ meal. This shows that the old giỗ offering tray was not only a ceremony meal within the home but also a community event, with scale depending on family status.
| Dish group | Note |
|---|---|
| Bowl of rice with boiled egg on top | The detail Phan Kế Bính records as always required |
| Boiled chicken or boiled meat | Main dish; Phan Kế Bính records a chicken for giỗ xa |
| Xôi | Phan Kế Bính records a tray of xôi for giỗ xa |
| Bamboo shoot soup, bóng soup, glass noodle soup | Dishes served in bowls in the saying four bowls six plates |
| Nem, chả, giò | Quantity depends on the household |
| Raw vegetables, pickled cucumber | Served alongside |
Why do northern giỗ trays often have boiled chicken and xôi?
Boiled chicken and xôi are two dishes present on most northern giỗ trays because they are associated with offerings in many types of Vietnamese ceremonies, not only death anniversaries. When describing giỗ xa, Phan Kế Bính specifically recorded preparing a chicken, a tray of xôi, or a few offering trays, showing that this is the minimum unit of offering in his records.
It should also be noted that the northern giỗ offering tray is not separate from the seasons. Winter usually has thịt đông, summer usually has vegetable soups and raw vegetables. This seasonal change is a feature of the traditional feast, not arbitrariness.
Does every household hold a lavish feast?
No. Ancient documents all record that the scale of the giỗ tray depends on the circumstances of each household, and there have been criticisms of holding too large a feast. In Vũ trung tùy bút, Phạm Đình Hổ recounts that the custom of our country is that whenever a household reaches the giỗ day, it exerts all its effort in planning, sometimes even borrowing to prepare a feast to entertain guests, ending up with not a bit of remembrance left[3]. He holds that sacrificing according to custom on the giỗ day is also acceptable, as long as one does not display a truly large feast to invite guests to eat and drink noisily and lose the meaning of compassion and respect[3].
PGS.TS Đỗ Lan Hiền in a 2013 article in the Journal of Religious Studies also restates a similar view in the context of funerals: large graves and beautiful tombs, high trays and full feasts are not the measure of filial piety. She cites the Tế thống chapter of the Book of Rites: tending to funerals and sacrifices when parents pass away is the duty of children, but it should be simplified, and the essential thing lies in a sincere heart, not in the offerings.
Thus, even in ancient documents, two attitudes toward the giỗ tray already existed: an attitude that values scale as a way of expressing sincerity and family status, and an attitude that criticizes substituting scale for sincerity. Today's readers can see that both attitudes still exist side by side.
How do the giỗ offering steps take place?
The traditional sequence of the giỗ offering includes arranging the feast, burning incense, the household head making the offering before the altar first, guests making offerings afterward, and then burning votive paper. The article by GS.TS Cao Ngọc Lân and NCS Cao Vũ Minh describes that guests coming to the giỗ meal may bring offerings of votive paper and incense, betel and wine, tea and candles, flowers and fruit; when guests arrive, descendants must receive the offerings and place them on the altar before the guests make their giỗ offering; guests make the offering before the altar according to the ritual of four bows and three vais, the household head stands to return the greeting, and after the altar offering the guests turn to bow to the person returning the greeting[1].
The book Nếp cũ by Toan Ánh, in the excerpt published on Znews, records that throughout the giỗ day the household head and descendants are very busy with the returning of greetings and receiving guests, sometimes with no time even to eat and drink, hence the saying hungry on the father's giỗ day, full for three days of Tết[4]. This book also records that only when the votive paper is burned is the giỗ day considered finished, and after burning the votive paper the incense and lamps on the altar no longer need to be kept burning[4].
Regarding the meaning of the prayer text, the book Nếp cũ emphasizes that however lavish the feast and however solemn the offerings, if descendants only place them on the altar without inviting, the ancestors do not partake; therefore on the giỗ day descendants must recite the invitation[4]. This is the understanding of a book about custom, not a legal or religious regulation.
How do the North, Central, and South differ?
The giỗ offering tray differs between regions, and that difference lies in the dishes, the naming, and the arrangement, not in the degree of completeness or solemnity.
The important thing is not to rank the regions by which tray is more complete or more standard. There is no original version of the giỗ offering tray against which other regions are measured. The differences between regions are differences in ingredients and local taste, not deviations from a model.
When should one simplify?
Many families today choose to make a simpler giỗ tray than described in ancient documents, because living conditions and views on sincerity have changed. Around the turn of the 19th century, Phạm Đình Hổ held that sacrificing according to custom on the giỗ day does no harm, as long as one does not display a truly large feast to invite guests to eat and drink noisily and forget the meaning of compassion and respect[3]. That saying is still cited by many today when discussing simplifying the offering tray.
PGS.TS Đỗ Lan Hiền also emphasizes that one who treats one's parents badly while they are alive, and when they die sets out high trays and full feasts only out of concern for one's own fate and to deceive the world, is not being filial. She cites the Book of Rites to affirm that the most important thing is a sincere heart.
Thus, simplifying the giỗ tray has a basis in ancient documents themselves, not a breaking of convention by modern times. A giỗ tray with few dishes but with a bowl of rice with a boiled egg on top, with incense, and with a prayer of invitation, is still fully meaningful in the understanding of custom.
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestions: how to apply it today?
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestion: if you are preparing a giỗ tray for your family, start from the familiar dishes of your own family instead of trying to copy a sample offering tray online. A meaningful giỗ tray usually has a bowl of rice with a boiled egg on top at the head of the tray, a main dish such as boiled chicken or boiled meat, a dish of xôi, a bowl of soup, and a plate of side dish. The number of dishes can increase or decrease depending on the number of attendees and the family's circumstances.
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestion: if your family is in the South or Central region, you do not need to switch to a northern offering tray to be correct. The giỗ tray bears the mark of the locality, and keeping the characteristic dishes of your own region is a way of continuing custom, not doing it wrong.
Nhật Nguyệt's suggestion: if your family wants to simplify, discuss it beforehand with the elders in the family line to avoid misunderstanding. Simplifying the offering tray already has precedent in ancient documents, but the specific application still depends on agreement within each family and family line.
