TL;DR: According to Confucian mourning regulations, children mourn their parents for three years (27 months in practice), while relatives of other ranks mourn from three months to one year depending on their position in the family. From the thành phục ceremony to the trừ phục ceremony, the milestones are: three days for tế ngu, one hundred days for tốt khốc, the first death anniversary for tiểu tường, the final anniversary for đại tường, and then one to three months later (depending on the book) the đàm and trừ phục ceremonies are held, after which mourning garments are finally put away. The general principle is to assign rank according to blood relationship.
How Long Is the Mourning Period? The Figure of Three Years and Twenty-Seven Months
According to the Confucian mourning code recorded in Duong Ba Trac's Gia le gian yeu (1932), children mourn their parents with the three-year zhan cui (traam thoi) grade; for the father they use a bamboo staff, for the mother a vong staff[1]. Pham Dinh Ho's Vu trung tuy but (translated by Nguyen Huu Tien) states that the period from the start of mourning to dam tat lasts only twenty-seven months, not a full 36 months[2]. In his account a filial child's grief has no end, so the sages set three years of mourning as the fitting measure[2].
For other relatives, the mourning period decreases with kinship rank. According to Gia le gian yeu, paternal grandparents are mourned one year, without a staff; the father's brothers, their wives and the father's sisters one year, but an already-married paternal aunt nine months; full siblings one year, sisters-in-law nine months, already-married sisters nine months; first cousins on the father's side nine months; maternal grandparents five months[1]. Thus the closer the direct blood line, the longer the mourning; the more distant, the shorter.
The Five Mourning Grades and the Principle of Grading
According to Gia le gian yeu, the code divides into five main grades: zhan cui three years (children for their parents), zi cui (three years for the father's principal wife, a stepmother or an adoptive mother; one year for paternal grandparents), da gong nine months (paternal first cousins, an already-married paternal aunt), xiao gong five months (the father's first cousins), si ma three months (more distant kin)[1]. Gustave Dumoutier's Le rituel funeraire des Annamites (1904) also records that the lightest mourning grade is a thin hemp garment, worn three months because that is the length of one season[4].
Mourning grades are not only about time but also about fabric type, hat style, belt, and accessories. Children wear a coarse hemp hat, hemp garment, and banana-fiber belt; grandchildren wear a large cloth hat and large cloth garment; siblings use a white cloth headband and white cloth garment[1]. Dumoutier's book lists five kinds of mourning garment, of which the fine hemp garment (si ma) is the lightest, while the mourning headband is only a complement and not counted as a complete mourning outfit[4].
Summary Table of Mourning Attire by Kinship Rank
| Kinship Rank | Mourning Grade | Duration | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Parents | Zhan cui | 3 years (27 months in practice) | Father: bamboo staff; mother: vong staff |
| Father's principal wife, stepmother, adoptive mother, nursing mother | Zi cui | 3 years | If the stepmother is repudiated, no mourning |
| Paternal grandparents | Zi cui | 1 year | No staff |
| Father's brothers, their wives, father's sisters | One-year grade | 1 year | Already-married paternal aunt: da gong, 9 months |
| Full siblings | One-year grade | 1 year | Sisters-in-law: 9 months; already-married sisters: 9 months |
| Paternal first cousins | Da gong | 9 months | |
| Maternal grandparents | Xiao gong | 5 months | |
| Father's first cousins | Xiao gong | 5 months | Already-married aunt of this degree: si ma, 3 months |
| More distant kin | Si ma | 3 months |
What Are the Rites Within Mourning and the Timing of Ending Mourning?
Traditional mourning is not a single rite but a sequence lasting from death to the end of mourning. According to Gia le gian yeu, after death the rite of encoffining is performed; next is the rite of assuming mourning, that is, wearing mourning attire according to the five grades; one hour before burial, the rite of carrying out the coffin is held; after burial, on the third day, the ngu (an vi) rite is performed; when a full hundred days have passed, the tot khoc rite is held; at the first anniversary, the tieu tuong rite is held; at the final anniversary, the dai tuong rite is held; three months after the final anniversary, the whole family removes mourning attire and performs the rite of ending mourning[1]. Phan Ke Binh's Viet Nam phong tuc (1915) states more clearly: forty-nine days is called the chung that week, one hundred days the tot khoc week, one year the first anniversary (tieu tuong), two years the final anniversary (dai tuong), and two months after dai tuong a day is chosen for the rite of ending mourning called dam te[3].
This sequence is also confirmed by Pham Dinh Ho in Vu trung tuy but: encoffining on the third day, wearing mourning on the fourth day, burial after three months, tieu tuong at the end of one year, dai tuong after two years, and dam tat (that is, the end of mourning) one month later[2]. However, Pham Dinh Ho criticized the custom of choosing auspicious dates that delayed the rite of assuming mourning until more than a year later, so that the time of wearing the hemp garment of chief mourning was reduced to only a few months[2].
How Rich and Poor Families Differed
Phan Ke Binh's Viet Nam phong tuc records that from the shrouding to the end of mourning, at every stage wealthy families held elaborate sacrifices while poor families made plain offerings, each spending according to their means[3].
How Are Mourning Attire and Rank Distinction Practiced?
Dumoutier's Le rituel funeraire des Annamites describes that for distant kin from five generations and beyond, mourning attire stops at the thin hemp garment; outside that case there is only the mourning headband[4]. Thus there is a clear distinction between close kin and those outside the clan. When following the funeral or coming to pay respects, people must wear undyed garments and wrap the head with a piece of white cloth, but that cloth does not constitute a complete mourning outfit[4].
Gia le gian yeu also records special cases: a stepfather (the mother's later husband), if living together, is mourned one year; if formerly living together but later not, then zi cui three months; if never living together, then no mourning[1]. The primary mother, stepmother, and adoptive mother are mourned with zi cui three years, but if the stepmother is repudiated, no mourning[1]. A nursing mother (one's birth mother having died, the father giving the child to another concubine to raise) is also mourned with zi cui three years[1]. A remarried mother (one's birth mother who after her husband's death remarried) is mourned one year; an expelled mother (a mother repudiated by the father) one year; a concubine mother (the father's concubine who has children) one year; and the child of a concubine mother mourns his own birth mother with zi cui three years[1].
Special Case: Meeting a Heavy Mourning While Already in Heavy Mourning
Gia le gian yeu devotes a separate section to the case of being in mourning for the father and then meeting the mother's death. At that time, when performing the rite of ending mourning for the father, the child must still wear the mourning-ending garment to perform the dai tuong rite, indicating that the previous mourning has ended, and afterward put on the garment resuming mourning for the mother[1]. If a child is in mourning for the mother whose burial has not yet occurred, and the time of the father's dai tuong arrives, he may not wear the dai tuong garment[1]. This rule shows that the ancients paid great attention to the order and overlap of mournings, not letting the ending of one mourning obscure another.
What Is the Role of Confucianism in Shaping Mourning Attire?
Tran Trong Kim's Nho giao (1930) quotes Confucius in the Analects: while the father lives, observe his intentions; when the father has died, observe his actions; if for three years one does not change the father's way, that is called filial[5]. Tran Trong Kim explains that when the father's actions seem to need change, the son must wait until the three-year mourning period ends before changing, first to express the forbearance of a filial child, and second to maintain caution at the moment of change[5]. Thus the three-year period is not only a formal rule but is tied to filial duty and the inheritance of responsibility within the family.
Nho giao also records that after Confucius died, his disciples mourned and each observed three years of heart mourning, that is, mourning in the heart without wearing mourning attire, and more than a hundred built houses near the grave until the end of mourning, while Zi Gong alone stayed there six years[5]. This shows that even within the Confucian tradition, alongside formal mourning attire there was heart mourning, mourning in the heart without wearing mourning clothes. This is a point worth noting when discussing mourning attire: the outer form may change, but the inner spirit is the core.
How Has Mourning Today Been Inherited and Changed?
Phan Ke Binh's Viet Nam phong tuc, written in 1915, already reflected changes in mourning compared with ancient rites. At the tieu tuong and dai tuong anniversaries, the author notes the custom of burning votive paper; some families did it at home, some at the pagoda, and some held vegetarian rites for the Three and Four Palaces (tam tứ phủ) for five or seven days[3]. The author also criticized the custom of elaborate feasting at funerals, arguing that cumbersome formalities should be reduced so that the rich spend less and the poor avoid borrowing.
In Vu trung tuy but, Pham Dinh Ho also attacked the village custom of extorting the bereaved family, with some families having to sell gardens and fields to feed the mouths of the predatory officials[2]. The author also criticized the custom of displaying elaborate offering trays on the day of assuming mourning, with villagers attending as if it were a festival[2]. These criticisms show that even in feudal times there was a difference between theoretical ritual and popular practice.
Influence of Buddhism and Folk Belief
Based on what is recorded in Vu trung tuy but, rites such as the forty-nine-day week, the hundred-day week, cao he, dien he, tong he, and the burning of votive paper at Trung nguyen are all Buddhist rites, not ancient rites[2]. In the Buddhist account he reports, the dead have their case reviewed every seven days at the court of King Yama; in the summer months the underworld takes pity on prisoners suffering the heat and at times reviews cases for a general amnesty[2]. This explains why Vietnamese funerals blend Confucian ritual with Buddhist ceremony.
What Is the Conclusion on Traditional Mourning?
How long one mourns depends on the mourner's kinship rank relative to the deceased. In the Confucian code, children mourn their parents three years (27 months in practice), and other relatives mourn from three months to one year. Mourning attire has five main grades, each with different fabric and duration. The rites from assuming mourning to ending mourning include the three-day ngu rite, the hundred-day tot khoc rite, the first-anniversary tieu tuong rite, the final-anniversary dai tuong rite, and then the rite of ending mourning (dam), on which the three books differ: one month after dai tuong in Pham Dinh Ho, two months in Phan Ke Binh, three months in Duong Ba Trac.
